the first thing a person is supposed to do in an emergency is send a text message

[realists]

Comments

emergency contact —

[realists]

When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I want to fuck.

[ that was NOT for cassian and yet, here we are ]

[evasives]

[ cassian stares at his phone for a very long minute, trying to pretend the feeling churning in his gut isn't dread. ]

[ it's fine, it's cool, he and jyn are broken up! clearly she feels fine enough to text him about people she wants to fuck now! that's where they're at!! cool cool cool! ]

Are you converting or being blasphemous?

[realists]

I mean neither but the text is there: long hair, beard, women and men fall at his feet. IT LINES UP.

[evasives]

I do not think you are supposed to want to fuck Jesus.

[realists]

Why not? Son of god isn't good enough to shag? Mary Magdalene totally wanted to and I see where she is coming from.

[evasives]

Catholic guilt?

[realists]

Catholics didn't exist.

We literally saw Passion of the Christ together how are you forgetting this

[evasives]

They exist now.

Are you basing this all off the movie?

[realists]

No I read the Bible once so I could argue with Cassian's rude uncle

[evasives]

Since when do you know another Cassian?

[realists]

I don't?

What Jesus did you think I was talking about? He came home from the gym, guns out, looking like he whipped a temple, and I swear to actual Jesus I would have fucked him on the kitchen floor.

[evasives]

[ well. ]

[ okay! ]

[ like the initial text he stares at it for a long while, because if he is reading this correctly, he is the jesus she wants to fuck. he came home from the gym barely half an hour ago. she wants to fuck him, and she doesn't seem to realize she is texting him. ]

[ help. ]

?????????????????????

[ nailed it. ]

[realists]

God you are such a baby Bodhi. If you think I'm still a virgin you and Cassian's rude uncle are in for a rude awakeni g

[evasives]

[ he is SUFFERING. ]

You mean

My rude uncle

[realists]

Cassian's rude uncle

[evasives]

Yes

Mine

He is my rude tio Juan Rafael

[realists]

What

[evasives]

He is the uncle I hate speaking to

Not Bodhi's

Bodhi does not have an uncle

[realists]

But Bodhi is who I was texting

[evasives]

No

Check again

[realists]

[ AH ]

I stand by what I said about Jesus

[evasives]

Jesus does not seem like the most important factor here

[realists]

It is now that I know I have been texting a recovering Catholic this whole time

[evasives]

I literally cannot care less about Jesus

[realists]

Was today arm day?