the first thing a person is supposed to do in an emergency is send a text message

[realists]

Comments

[evasives]

I never once thought it would be terrible and never thought you were trash. I would not feel that way about you. You aren't, you weren't.

If you were suffocating under us, we could have

I don't know

Opened a window.

[realists]

It wasn't us

It was this crushing societal expectation that we get married and have babies that we baptise because your uncle is a twat even though I don't know if I want to get married or have babies and if I DID I don't know if I would want them baptised because my mom was jewish but also organized religion is bullshit

And like everyone would expect me to take your last name like oh this name I've had for my entire life yeah I'll just throw it away

And I know YOU wouldn't expect any of that but it was so much and I panicked because what if I'm never ready for any of that! All I ever wanted to do was my job and I got that and people still think it's not enough and I hate it and I ahte that it hurt you

[evasives]

You could have said that before.

We could have worked through it. I always wanted you to be honest with me, no matter how difficult for either one of us.

[realists]

I didn't know

I didn't knwo any of this at the time it just felt like I was drowning and like I was going to drown you too.

It took like two months of taekwondo with Chirrut to figure this shit out and I was going to tell you and then my spleen exploded

[evasives]

You could have told me you felt like you were drowning.

I would have

Given you space. Tried to help. Something. I knew you were going through a rough spell but I did not know what to do and then all of a sudden

We were done

[realists]

I know and I'm sorry, I fucked it up like a dumb bitch

[evasives]

You know I hate when you call yourself that, like that.

[realists]

Well one of us has to state the obvious and you wont

[evasives]

I am not turning this into a pity party for you.

[realists]

Its not I'm being realistic

My puty party was for my abs

[evasives]

Are you going to divert or actually keep talking?

[realists]

Ask me a wuestion and I'll answer it

[evasives]

Could I have done anything differently?

[realists]

No bc you didn't do anything wrong

You were perfect and

Everything

And I convinced myself agaisnt all evidence that you would stop being the wonderful, compassionate, kind, generous man I love and just give up even though I KNOW You aren't like that and you live to fix things

[evasives]

You still love me?

[realists]

[ wait what oh she fucking did that ]

Yeah

Sorry

[evasives]

I don't know how to believe that.

[realists]

You don't have to

[ it would probably be better for him if she hadn't said anything but she did and she can't take it back so maybe she can mitigate it somehow ]

[evasives]

[ but. he wants to. why does he want to? ]

This is just a lot, Jyn.

[realists]

I know

I'll lock up my phone before I take pain pills next time

[evasives]

Its good to be honest

I just wish it was sooner

[realists]

Me too.

[evasives]

We should be having this conversation when you are fully sober.

[realists]

Nothing will change

Maybe I wont be on the floor

[evasives]

You will remember it better.