the first thing a person is supposed to do in an emergency is send a text message

[realists]

Comments

[realists]

I'll have no muscles left, I will be a blob on this floor

[evasives]

[ if they were still dating he'd offer to do the heavy lifting for now. ]

[ but. ]

Even blobs can regain muscle mass.

[realists]

[ almost as if she read his mind: ]

Probably couldn't climb Jesus anyway

[evasives]

Not the best time for it, no.

[realists]

:(

[evasives]

Not my fault.

[realists]

TECHNICALLY NOT MINE EITHER

[evasives]

[ well he's not gonna say UM U DUMPED ME when she's high on pain pills and apparently thinking about banging him. ]

Your car was a disaster.

[realists]

Wow victim blaming

[evasives]

I know it was not your fault, but you cannot possibly think your vehicle was safe.

[realists]

It wasn't to blame for my spleen or my inability to commit to a serious relationship because of a not irrational but poorly directed fear of abandonment and non-sexual intimacy.

[ she has nothing to do while she can't work or leave the house but read and watch buzzfeed and get therapy from chirrut ]

[evasives]

[ why does she always bring it up ON HER PAIN MEDS! it would be so much easier in any other situation, which is half the reason cassian never brings it up himself on a regular day. maybe she doesn't want to. ]

We moved too fast for you.

Like the other car.

[realists]

[ because inhibitions vanish when jyn takes her pain meds and that makes her much more loquacious. ]

It wasn't too fast. PEople expected so much of us and I freaked out.

[evasives]

I am sorry if I added to it. For the record.

[realists]

You didn't

This fuck up was all me, as per usual.

[evasives]

I always figured I did something to set it off. I knew this was difficult for you.

[realists]

No.

You were always good and supportive, I'm just a fucking selfish mess all the tim

[evasives]

No. Not all the time. You are not selfish. Just... scared.

[realists]

90% of the time I was rounding up

[evasives]

I would not have been with you if you were always selfish.

[realists]

Maybe you're a lil dense

[evasives]

For missing the signs, maybe.

[realists]

No!

[ which she barks out loud, frustrated, so he can hear that too. ]

There weren't signs! It was the fucking engagement party. People kept asking when were were nxt and I felt like I was suffocating and then the party was over and it was fine and then you RESPONSIBLY AND SMARTLY AND NOT AT ALL PRESSURELY mentioned it would be pragmatic to move in together which was correct but my brain just fucking snapped because if you finally figured out I was trash and we were living together it would be terrible

[evasives]

I never once thought it would be terrible and never thought you were trash. I would not feel that way about you. You aren't, you weren't.

If you were suffocating under us, we could have

I don't know

Opened a window.

[realists]

It wasn't us

It was this crushing societal expectation that we get married and have babies that we baptise because your uncle is a twat even though I don't know if I want to get married or have babies and if I DID I don't know if I would want them baptised because my mom was jewish but also organized religion is bullshit

And like everyone would expect me to take your last name like oh this name I've had for my entire life yeah I'll just throw it away

And I know YOU wouldn't expect any of that but it was so much and I panicked because what if I'm never ready for any of that! All I ever wanted to do was my job and I got that and people still think it's not enough and I hate it and I ahte that it hurt you