the first thing a person is supposed to do in an emergency is send a text message

[realists]

Comments

[realists]

Si

Spy lady

[evasives]

Why from the floor?

[ she lives for burrowing into blankets and pillows. ]

[realists]

My legs got all wobbly so I sat down and now I live here.

They never said I would be so weak after everything. I want to do the thingy.

[ the ropes, she means, ignoring that they absolutely told her she could be weaks for months and months after the accident. ]

[evasives]

It is major surgery. What did you expect? I am fairly certain they told you.

The ropes?

[ he really hopes she means the thingy from before and not the thingy as in sex. ]

[realists]

They could have been more dramatic so I would have understood how bad it was going to be.

Yes the ropes. I don't call climbing Jesus like the Tower of Babel a thingy.

[evasives]

They are doctors, dramatic is not their thing no matter how many medical dramas you watch.

Battle ropes.

[ why will she not leave the jesus thing alone. ]

[realists]

Then they should have written it down.

Yes, the battle ropes. Do you know how much I want to go to the gym? Or out of the house in general. I would kill to go to the grocers

[ stupid compromised immune system ]

[evasives]

They did. It was on the fridge at your house.

Maybe we can find an empty park?

[realists]

I tried to do sit ups, it didn't work

[evasives]

You do know where your own scar is, right? Sit ups are the last thing you should attempt.

[realists]

I want my abs back

They were my best fucking quality

[evasives]

[ it's...... true. mostly. she did have excellent abs, not that he's seen her shirtless in months. ]

Your arms might argue that point.

[ she casually admitted she wanted to fuck him, he can indirectly compliment her arms. ]

[realists]

I can't get off the floor I don't think I can lift a weight either

[evasives]

There will be time after you are cleared for it.

[realists]

I'll have no muscles left, I will be a blob on this floor

[evasives]

[ if they were still dating he'd offer to do the heavy lifting for now. ]

[ but. ]

Even blobs can regain muscle mass.

[realists]

[ almost as if she read his mind: ]

Probably couldn't climb Jesus anyway

[evasives]

Not the best time for it, no.

[realists]

:(

[evasives]

Not my fault.

[realists]

TECHNICALLY NOT MINE EITHER

[evasives]

[ well he's not gonna say UM U DUMPED ME when she's high on pain pills and apparently thinking about banging him. ]

Your car was a disaster.

[realists]

Wow victim blaming

[evasives]

I know it was not your fault, but you cannot possibly think your vehicle was safe.

[realists]

It wasn't to blame for my spleen or my inability to commit to a serious relationship because of a not irrational but poorly directed fear of abandonment and non-sexual intimacy.

[ she has nothing to do while she can't work or leave the house but read and watch buzzfeed and get therapy from chirrut ]