realists: (ro » side)
jyn ✧ (ง •̀_•́)ง ✧ erso ([personal profile] realists) wrote in [community profile] ohnofeelstho2017-05-14 03:23 pm
evasives: (72)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-07 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
He recognizes it for what it is, that she needs some time, but it doesn't bother him. It doesn't feel like she's fleeing in frustration or unhappiness, and she's not arguing against him either.

Rey watches her mama stand up, still gnawing on the tooka, but Cassian notices none of that because Jyn kisses him on the cheek. It startles him. It's not for show. She's done it because he wants to, and for two seconds, Cassian thinks about sliding his hand behind her neck and pulling her down for a real kiss.

Instead he reaches out for her free hand, winding his fingers through hers to give it a squeeze. Rey giggles beneath them, once again muffled thanks to her doll. "Any time, Jyn."
evasives: (45)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-07 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
He expects her to pull her hand away, but instead she just stands there, looking at him like she's caught in a trap. He could make it easier on her and just take his own hand back, but he gets too caught up in the way she's looking at him. He can't figure it out, which is normally frustrating but - it's not the usual fatigued stillness she's been plagued with. She licks her lips and his eyes drop to her mouth, just for a second.

He also grapples with that very similar urge to kiss her, only this time it's to just tug on her hand and tug her into his lap. These are definitely not good ideas no matter how strongly he's feeling at her right now.

"The food?" Of course the food, Cassian, what else?? "Save the rest, for lunch tomorrow."
Edited 2017-08-07 06:52 (UTC)
evasives: (58)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-07 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
He misses her hand when she finally takes it away, and he wonders, briefly, what it might be like to take it again sometime. He could test it maybe, next time they're sitting beside each other.

Cassian listens to her puttering in the kitchen until the sounds go quiet. There's the time she needs, but he's slightly more concerned now than he was before she kissed his cheek. It doesn't feel quite the same.

Rey makes a needy noise, having decided it's been too long without either of her parents paying attention to her. Cassian looks down at her and smiles, taking another bite of his dinner. The tooka is a wet, slobbery mess, he doesn't even need to touch it to know. "It's almost bed time for you. I hope you aren't going to give us a hard time tonight."

She kicks her feet at him, and he finishes up his food while occasionally explaining to her what he's eating, just to talk about something with her. She yawns, doll falling out of her mouth, but she immediately grabs it to shove it right back. "Better than the floor."
evasives: (09)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-07 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Her posture is completely different by the time she slips back in, and Cassian frowns, the tiniest bit, barely noticeable. It's not unusual for her, but it feels like he's missed a chance to fix it, to keep that calm, happy atmosphere.

He watches Jyn circle around, but he doesn't miss Rey confusing herself. She flails her arms again hard, scrunching up her nose, and letting out a surprised noise when the toy falls out of her hand to land next to her. She looks down at it and stares, like she's expecting it to leap back. Cassian laughs at her again, but he looks back up to Jyn. She doesn't usually offer, but he nods. "I would like to, yes."

He's not ready to step out of this bubble yet, even if it only lasts until Rey falls asleep.
evasives: (87)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-08 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Rey leans over to reach for the tooka and ends up faceplanting into the couch. Cassian laughs and thinks he hasn't laughed as much in years as he does at his daughter. He scoops her up into his arms and she jabbers tiredly while still reaching for the tooka, so Cassian reluctantly snatches the soggy doll and gives it to her to snuggle and gnaw on. "You're going to have to give it up soon, you silly girl."

He also grabs his dinner and meanders to the kitchen first as suspected, carrying Rey in one arm. He scrapes the rest of it into a box and then dumps the plate in the sink. The baby drops the tooka on the floor in favor of staring at the sound and this time doesn't seem interested in picking it up again, so Cassian leaves it for later while he stores the box in the fridge then takes her into the bedroom.

"Don't even say the word t-o-o-k-a," he spells it out, like saying it fully will make her remember her toy. "She dropped it and forgot about it. Sometimes her short attention span is a gift."

The room is so quiet and calm and he hopes it lasts; he's careful with his still one armed hold on Rey as he climbs into the bed too, using his free hand for balance as he backs up closer to Jyn. Rey just yawns, uncaring.
Edited 2017-08-08 00:29 (UTC)
evasives: (88)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-08 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
He makes a face, this is an attack, but at least Jyn is being easy about it. Rey wriggles and nearly bounces out of his arm, but he catches her quick.

"I wouldn't put it past her to recognize tooka early either way," he says with defeat, grinning softly. He lifts her up, letting her legs dangle. "Do you want mama, Rey? I think she is waiting for you."

She wriggles again, feet kicking idly at his chest while she gurgles. She blows another spit bubble and it pops in Cassian's face; laughing, she looks over at Jyn and jerks her body in what could pass for a baby dance like she's proud.
evasives: (03)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-08 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
He deserves that laugh, and he thinks he'd deal with Rey spitting on him twenty more times if it makes Jyn laugh again. This is nice. It's comfortable, sitting here with her, and maybe they aren't in love, but if they could be together like this more often, he doesn't think it'd be so bad anymore.

The only thing Cassian does is tilt his arms closer to Jyn, leaning into Rey's attempted leap. It seems to satisfy her independence, if the gleeful sound she makes is any indication when she finds herself in Jyn's hands.

He shoots Jyn a look and sighs, tickling under Rey's chin. "Yes, I'll take the rest of it, and wipe this mess off in a moment too."
evasives: (85)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-08 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
Cassian easily stares right back, pulling faces at her. The silliness abruptly slips into something softer when Jyn speaks up and it feels like the happiness burrowing in his chest right now is undeserved.

He also picks up on the silent part, and his chest aches a little bit for Jyn too. He looks from Rey to Jyn with little change in his expression, because he's not fully aware of how he looks at Rey. It's not always so different from how he catches himself looking at Jyn sometimes. He's so good with words usually, but he finds himself at a loss in this moment.

Until Rey interrupts, naturally. He ducks his head to the side, smiling and collecting himself, before he turns back to wife and daughter. "She definitely doesn't understand what that means."
Edited 2017-08-08 03:44 (UTC)
evasives: (33)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-08 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
Cassian's not really sure how to sit or lay that's the least awkward for Jyn, so he settles for sinking down a little lower, leaning on his back against his pillows. He watches Rey anyway, simple because he's incapable of looking at her even for a little while she's near him. She is not awake for this world much longer, and he quietly hopes she'll at least sleep for a few hours solidly.

"Maybe it's shiny enough to grab her attention, and she knows you always have it. Consistency."
evasives: (79)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-08 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
Kyber Crystals are special, he knows, and he just assumes that has something to do with it. He'd keep going, but Jyn reaches out and pulls his hand in, and the crystal is more or less forgotten.

He settles it immediately on Rey's back, trusting that it's fine even before Jyn says so. It also lets him scooch down to something more eye level, rolling on his side to face them, and he likes this much better. "I wasn't sure the best way to ask."

It's not like she hasn't fed Rey in front of him before, but it felt different in the quiet of their room. They made a literal human being together, but boundaries are still hard, ok. He traces a light, easy circle on his daughter's back and feels her relax more under his touch.
evasives: (67)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-08 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
He lets out a puff of a laugh. "It's not that." He probably deserves that pat though, he knows all that. Cassian generally doesn't ask to involve himself with Rey, but it's different when it comes to parts that are more directly related to Jyn.

Cassian knows Jyn loves and adores Rey with all her heart, but he does wonder sometimes if she ever blames him for any of the bad parts. It has largely been more like a game of tag with Rey, and they haven't done everything together. He keeps drawing idle shapes over Rey's tiny form. "I know there's very little left to overstep with you, but I still don't want to do it."
evasives: (40)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-08 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
"That's not what I meant either." Part of him still feels like he's intruding, interrupting a moment Jyn would rather have with Rey alone, even though she'd basically invited him twice over. His hand stills, so only his thumb is moving over Rey's back. "We don't usually sit here like this together."

He looks from Rey up to Jyn, oddly comforted by what she says. They already tended to agree on most things with regards to Rey's care, but it's sort of nice. It feels like she's trying to reassure him rather than close him out. "But it's the same for me. I have nothing to fight with you about, not with Rey."
evasives: (36)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-08-09 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
He finds himself smiling back in that same small way, before blinking down at Rey when Jyn winces. She is not very old at all, but their daughter's personality is shining through already. Cassian doesn't speak Grange well, but he's heard Jyn use it enough to pick up on the gist of what she calls Rey based on context too.

Her fingers touch his, and he hesitates for a moment, just one, before overlapping them. It's not enough to say they're holding hands, just a tiny weave between their fingertips like a basket around their sleepy daughter. It almost feels too safe and secure, and he can't bring himself to close his own eyes, like maybe it's just a dream. Rey can creep closer to sleep, but despite how relaxed he is, Cassian is far from it.

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