ohnofeelstho | miscellaneous thoughts: i came in piece, please assemble.

"You're always impatient." He says it with the utmost fondness, but he does do as she asked and tug her underwear down. He does it slowly, just to be an ass, though also partially for the Mood.

He stops talking much after that, leaning down to brush his lips to hers. He wriggles himself down with a trail of kisses along the way, belatedly remembering her bra is still on when he gets there, but now he's too impatient to do anything about it, so he just keeps kissing over it and down her stomach.

He settles between her legs and gets to work!! And he is very good at it, thank you very much Jyn, his mouth very warm and very eager as he tries to figure out what exactly she likes the best.

The good thing about Jyn's lack of expectations is that there was no way that Cassian could disappoint, but boy howdy does Cassian hurdle over those expectations like an Olympic pole vaulter. The first touch makes her jerk in surprise but everything after that is just Jyn melting under his touch and dissolving under his mouth.

The warmth builds down in her belly until she has to grab a pillow and press it over her face so all her little noises and gasps and screams won't wake up the baby in the other room. Or the neighbors because god damn even the pillow can't muffle everything. Is the window open? Does Jyn give a fuck?

Once she's spent, legs still shaking, she drags the pillow off her face. "What the fuck, Cassian. I'd have come home six months ago if you'd told me you could do that."

He is only vaguely aware of the pillow situation, but he smiles about it anyway. He very reluctantly crawls out from between her legs to sit up, looking both enamored by her and pleased with himself.

"And how was I supposed to tell you? I'm not going to have abuelita put it in a Christmas card."

Even if she is long aware that her grandson is sexually active, prior to Sofia's existence.

He wants to kiss her, but some people don't like that immediately after, so he just sort of hovers and gently runs one hand up and down a leg. "Much better than before, I would hope."

Jyn scoffs. "Uh, you never did this before. I'd've fucking remembered."

Apparently Jyn has no such qualms in kissing him because she reaches up to drag him down, kissing him hard and enthusiastic, even if she seems slightly worn out from his very good work. When she pulls back it's with a hum of consideration, licking her lips.

"Is that what I taste like?"

She kisses him and he immediately melts into it, lowering himself down as soon as she pulls him in. It is a great kiss, he is more than happy to keep kissing her always.

He stays above her when she pulls back, gaze instantly dropping to the way she licks at her lips. He finds himself mimicking it with his own.

"Yes," he nearly breathes out. His pants feel too tight, but that's not entirely why he's breathless. "I am already ready for seconds."

"Fucking hell, Cassian." Jyn closes her eyes, pressing her hand to her forehead. He's being so plain and not filthy about it and it's still blowing her mind. "Take your pants off, I wanna see what you can do with your dick now. You can go down on me again at nap time."

YOLO.

Is it really appropriate to bring up the baby in bed? Jyn doesn't know, but she's a fact of life so she's not going to think too hard about it. Her eyes flutter open, eyes intense and steady. "Why do I still have a crush on you?"

It's not his fault she's so great and he wants her, like, a lot. As soon as she tells him to take his pants off, he's fiddling with the buttons and shucking them down his hips. He pauses when she speaks up again, but not for baby reasons. The baby will probably come up a lot in bed, if only for the interrupting she's bound to do now and then.

"Probably for the same reason I still have one on you."

Years. It's been years but she fell back into his life like she never left. He can't explain it, but he doesn't want to pretend otherwise.

"I still feel like myself with you."

"Yeah." It's soft and settled, like Cassian had hit the nail on the head.

She doesn't have to pretend to be anything with Cassian, she can just be Jyn. The girl that dislocated her shoulder three times falling off the roof to catch the meteor showers, who cried at the end of Homeward Bound and bit him when he pointed it out, who watched every season of Project Runway religiously even though her idea of fashion is jeans and a tee shirt probably stolen from either Bodhi or Cassian when they were in 6th grade.

"It feels like home." He feels like home and not for the first time she feels like she has a space back in her own home, which she hasn't felt since running away. "Now come on, show me what you've learned in the past eight years."

Sometimes he feels like a completely different person with Sofia. He always had trouble doing things for himself, and it was exacerbated by having a daughter. Jyn always reminds him to think of himself. He's happy with her.

He's home with her. Cassian smiles at her when she says it, the feeling both good and nerve-wracking. "More like ten years. But still home." He finishes shoving down his pants, then slides her bra straps down her shoulders. "Unhook it for me?"

He could lift her up, but he is very comfortable right now in this space on top of her.

"Can't get a bra off anymore? For shame." Jyn tsks, with a smile, but reaches back to unsnap the bra with ease, sweeping it the rest of the way off of her and flinging it off to the side. Late bra, see you again never.

"I feel like you're stalling, Andor." It's been five seconds, Jyn, for fuck's sake. "Come on," she whines, curling her legs around his waist. "Gimme the condom, I want you. Hurry up. Vamos."

Maybe if she tells him to hurry up in two languages she can make time move faster.

"Maybe I wanted you to return the favor." A view for a view! His gaze drops over her, as though he hasn't seen her naked before, but every time feels like something new. "I'm not stalling. I am distracted."

Her legs are even more distracting! Wrapped up in her limbs, he does his best to lean over and reach for the box of condoms. He pulls one out, then pauses. "Am I actually giving it to you?"

Maybe she likes to put them on now? He always did when they were younger, but they're both discovering all kinds of new things today.

"Yes, I'm willing to touch that disgusting, sticky mess just to get your dick inside me faster because you're definitely stalling now."

She snatches it right out of his hands, ripping it open and making the most disgusted face once she actually touches it. She really, really hates the feel of it all slick and sticky against her fingers but because of that she makes quick work of grabbing his dick and sliding the condom on just like it's a banana.

"Okay, let's go. Get in me." Really laying on the romance here, she wipes her hand on his chest.

"I am not stalling!" Repeats it for emphasis!

However quickly she does it, despite the scrunched up disgusted look on her face, Cassian stills shudders under her hands. It takes him a moment, and he'd ask her to touch him again if they didn't already have other plans. Sidenote: she still hates touching condoms, but she's just that hurried.

"You are the most impatient person, did you know that?"

But he doesn't make her wait anymore. He even spares asking her if she's ready. He just slides inside her with a sigh, and it doesn't take him long to start moving. He's clearly gotten much better at it, no trace of awkward teenage fumbling this round! He's still quieter than she is, whispering affection mixed with swears into her skin as he fucks her into the mattress. About halfway through he rolls them over and pulls her back on top of him, fingers digging into her hips with a groan and very, very determined to make sure she finishes for real once again.

Holy shit yeah, he has stepped up his game phenomenally. He went from freshman benchwarmer to varsity and Jyn has zero complaints. She does make a tiny squeal of unhappiness when he flips them over but then wow she can feel him so deep inside her and the noise turns into a decadent sigh.

The only problem, of course, is trying to keep quiet with no pillow to muffle her cries. She does her best to stay silent but it's hard to let go that way and eventually Jyn tips over to lay on his chest, mouth pressed to his shoulder, muffling all her little noises until the rhythm and pressure sends her over the edge and she's left slumped across him, limp and spent and giggling at the absurdity of all this.

"Twice in one night. Happy Christmas to me, innit."

He doesn't want her to be quiet, but he understands why. He has no idea if sex noises would wake up his tiny child! When she buries her face against him it feels like a good middle ground, and he has zero complaints about being this close to her.

It doesn't take him much longer to follow after her, coming with a quiet groan while his arms wrap tightly around her. He doesn't let go even when it's over, content to keep her nestled in and feel the giggles rumble over her body.

His own laugh startles out of him and he kisses the side of her head. "Do not say I never gave you anything for the holidays."

"You're going to have to give me a shirt to sleep in as well and you and I both know you'll never get that back so you can consider it a gift as well. Three presents for me."

She's a very lucky girl indeed, glistening with sweat with the dopiest smile on her face as she snuggles closer still. She'd missed how nice it is, intimacy with Cassian. Even when they were fumbling, idiot teenagers there was an ease to it she never found anywhere else. Maybe it's because they'd known each other for ages, it felt like they never had to learn each other, they just knew.

"I want to go again right now, but I also want juice and oreos. And a nap." Conflicted. Luckily male biology is going to make the decision for both of them, yay juice!

"It could be a shirt you just... keep here. To sleep in." Look at him being all casual about having her over again! In reality he knows she's going to steal one of his shirts, but he can't say he minds. It's been a while, but he still likes it, apparently.

He hasn't felt this close to another person in ages, and not just from a physical standpoint. He feels so at ease with Jyn, and she can probably tell. She still knows him like the back of her hand. It's an intimacy he didn't feel the need to hide from, and it still exists. So many things about Jyn have the word still.

"In five minutes, we can get some snacks." Five minutes, because he doesn't want to move away from her yet. He could offer to use his hands for round three, but he's tired and content and male biology needs a break. "I don't know if I have oreos. We have apple juice."

"Well I have to pee, so you can wait five minutes." She doesn't move right away, wriggling her shoulders to loosen his grip and pressing a little kiss to a spot on his throat and laughing at the little whine he makes. "Just a fun fact for you, but uh, abuelita is going to know we had sex."

And with that fun fact, Jyn squirms out of his arms and bounds out of bed, tiptoeing around until she finds her underwear. She pulls a tee shirt out of the dresser without even hesitating to which drawer they could be in (god, he's so predictably organized, what a guy) and prances out of the room with a laugh, ignoring any and all complaints. "Mine now."

There is the patter of her soft footsteps and the opening and closing of the bathroom door, the sound of the toilet running, the water running, the creak of the door again and then silence. Did she climb out the window? Did she sneak out the front door somehow? Did she flee without her shoes or keys or phone?

Maybe! No, because a few moments after the silence begins it's broken by Jyn's voice over the baby monitor. "You can't sleep when someone's staring at you either, huh? Lo siento, ballenacita, I didn't mean to wake you." There's a mournful little bleat from Sofia and hum from Jyn before the sound of the faintest singing. A lullaby.

"It would not be the first time." His grandmother never caught them directly, but she definitely knew he'd been sleeping with Jyn in high school. She knew almost everything.

He sighs unhappily when Jyn crawls away, very bereft when she's no longer on top of him. Cassian does not climb out of bed, still just basking in the afterglow even if she's not there. He frowns when he hears one of the doors move, worried she's leaving and running back home in her underwear. It would not be the first time she fled that way.

Instead he hears her voice through the monitor, and he sits up, like it'll let him hear it better. She's talking and singing to Sofia, and Cassian feels like he can melt right back into the bed. She stopped to check on the baby. He smiles, covering his mouth as though she's going to see it. Jyn is singing to Sofia. Everything about this night is proving one happy moment after another.

The singing continues and he can't help it. He needs to see it. He climbs out of bed and pulls on his underwear, tiptoeing across the hall into Sofia's room.

Jyn is sitting in his grandmother's rocking chair, cradling Sofia in her arms, and his heart nearly explodes in his chest. He can't even step further into the room, caught up in the sight of it.

Sofia looks like she is nearly asleep but then she stretches and scrunches up her face unhappily and Jyn just keeps singing, toes pressing into the floor to keep the slow and steady pace of the rocking chair. She knows Cassian is there, can see him out of the corner of her eye, but she's enamoured by the sleepy, pouty face of the baby in her arms, clutching her necklace like it's a security blanket and she can't look away.

"I think she might be hungry." She's dry and cool and content to be in Jyn's arms so the aimless fussing must be food. Which is fair, Jyn is also hungry, she can relate. "I don't wanna let her go."

It's up to Cassian to save the day. And you know what? Five minutes have probably passed by now so it was time for a food run anyway.

"You caught her before she started crying. She usually gets hungry at least once a night."

He wants to go over to her and stare at his baby too, but Jyn's right. She is hungry, and it's better to just let her stay there while she waits for food. If he interrupts it'll just make her extra fussy.

"Give me a moment." He still hesitates with the sight, then slips out of the room for the kitchen before he forgets. He starts to heat up one of her bottles, then grabs some of the chocolate chip cookies he does have and fills up a glass with apple juice. After a few minutes, he comes back to the room with the warm bottle and the Jyn snacks.

"Do you want me to do it, so you can eat too?"

"No, I've got it." She shifts Sofia so she's snug in one arm, settled comfortably in Jyn's lap, face tipped up to ceiling like a little angel looking toward the sun. Her fingers tighten against Jyn's necklace, clutching the crystal tighter. Taking the bottle, Jyn nudges the baby's pouty lip and Sofia's eyes open as she latches on, greedily devouring her middle of the night snack.

Once Sofia seems down to chow, Jyn shifts the bottle a little so it rest between her breasts and now she has a hand free to eat, shoving a whole cookie in her mouth so she doesn't get crumbs on the baby.

"Too bad you haven't got tits, you can't go hands free."

"I never eat at the same time she does, so it has never been an issue."

There's only one chair in her room, so he opts to sit on the floor, but only because it'll be a few minutes until Sofia puts herself back to sleep. It's strange, not being the one to do that.

He steals one of Jyn's cookies, given the fact that they're his to begin with. Even though he's on the floor, he's still looking up at them like it's the best thing he's ever seen.

"She will probably sleep through the night, after this."

"I'm a night owl, I don't mind the company." It's true enough she seems utterly enamoured by the baby, watching her with a soft expression and she doesn't ever seem to mind Sofia's neediness or fussing. "Meanwhile, you should go to sleep because you are the one waking up early in the morning."

She nudges him there on the floor with her toes and when she finally tears her eyes away from the baby that soft expression is suddenly focused on Cassian, where it warms into something close to contentment.

"Go on, go away. It's girl time. I'll be back in bed soon."

"There is nothing appealing about going back to bed right now when you are in here."

Jyn is holding Sofia and looking at her like she's the best thing in the world. Why would he want to leave that? Don't be ridiculous.

Besides, he still wants to cuddle!! He can't do that if he's sleeping before she even comes back. Cassian loves his baby, but Jyn's the one who told him he needed to make sure he paid attention to himself too. Outside of Sofia, what he wants is to just be wrapped up again in Jyn.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject