She is so utterly curious a person that he isn't surprised she pokes around his room a little, even if he does fidget with it - which is dumb. She's his wife. The rest of the Alliance probably already thinks she's sleeping here anyway. But it's strange and he worries it'll fall short in her inspection, even though he doesn't really care if she hates it. He likes it, for what it is.
Jyn moves towards the picture of his parents and he can feel his chest tighten. It's the only one left of them, the rest destroyed when the Empire attacked the castle. He keeps it here because keeping it with himself is clearly the safest choice.
He watches the way she reaches for her necklace instead of looking at the portrait himself. "They say my father was very lucky to have her." There's a pause, like he's deliberating. "I don't remember much about them. Not as much as I would like."
He was six. His memories are patches and pieces, his father's laugh and his mother scooping him up to lift him in the air. "They were both born here, but Fest was her kingdom."
No wonder everyone here loves Cassian so much, he's all that's left of their beloved royal family. Her stomach twists uncomfortably and all at once it's too much as she turns away, clasping her hand together in front of her.
"Fest is lucky to have you." His father may have been the lucky one, but his entire people are lucky to have Cassian looking after their best interests.
Struggling to push down her own tangle of familial emotions and unwilling to self-centeredly turn the attention to herself, even if it is bred out of wanting to remind him that he's not alone, she instead points out: "You have a lot of rocks."
He wants to brush it off, because he loves Fest, and he always tries to do right by it, but he has given up a lot of himself in the process. When Jyn turns, he finally looks up at his parents' smiling faces and it makes him sad.
"I try," he says idly, awkward with the compliment. Her question about rocks doesn't make it any easier, because it feels a little silly to explain it aloud. He never has before, no one's ever asked. He answers because she probably needs the distraction.
"They're from the different places I've been." He reaches out to fix one of them, from Corellia. It must have gotten shuffled last time someone dusted.
"Oh." A beat. "Do you label them?" She turns back to peer at them because that's interesting and she's a nerd at heart. She points at one at random, fingers hovering over it like she wants to touch it but she isn't sure she's allowed.
"Where's that one from? It's obsidian. Have you been to a volcanic planet?" Her eyes get all wide as she babbles, a little nervously, about the make up of all the different rocks without once giving Cassian the chance to tell her where they're from or where he found them. She's also right on almost off of the rocks and what type of planet they're from, fouling up a couple of them because it's late and dark and she's tired. She's allowed to make mistakes.
She trails off in the middle of a sentence about outwash plains and glacial sediments... biting her lip. "Sorry. That was... I didn't let you answer."
She doesn't give him a chance to answer, which is honestly okay with him, because it lets him avoid mentioning that he'd started the habit when he was small and lonely and didn't know if he'd ever get back to Fest again. Only two of those things about him have changed.
He waves off her apology. "I don't label them," he says, with a very small and fond smile ghosting his face. She's the daughter of scientists, of course this is exciting to her, at least from a science perspective. "I remember where they all came from. I'm afraid I don't know as much about their individual make up as you seem to. But it'll be easier to tell when the room is better lit."
"Will you tell me in the morning?" Because she will still be there in the morning because she will be staying the night with him. She's so tired and jumpy and faintly trembley from the nightmare so everything seems shrouded in uncertainty still.
She's not a nervous person by nature but that seems to be how she's feeling now, even if it's not quite true. Restless would be more accurate, brittle energy.
She knows she should sleep but. It's his bed, in his room. Should she ask permission first even though she almost never asks permission, for anything. She would have snatched up the rock if she hadn't just watched Cassian carefully fixing it.
"I think it's more like you'll be able to tell me more in the morning." Is he serious? Teasing? We just don't know! He's still uncertain about sharing that part of himself with her, but at the very least they can probably just talk about rocks. Not the meaning behind it.
She's restless though, probably both from tiredness and the fact that she's going to sleep in here, with him. He's processing a similar feeling, even though it's his own room. He's never had anyone else in here before. He gestures vaguely at the bed. "You can settle in. I'm going to put another log on the fire first." A beat. "There's a chair, if you want to leave your robe on it."
Jyn's head bobs in a nod as she moves for the chair, flinging her robe on it so messily it makes it look like a paper thin person is draped across it. She should have been neater, but Jyn is not a neat person. She put it where he suggested, isn't that enough?
Back in just her nightgown, she tiptoes to the bed, watching Cassian idly as she smooths her blanket out a bit more before pulling the blankets back and heaving herself up to kneel on the bed. It's higher than hers, as well as being bigger. Even though she's been royal since birth, this bed makes her feel like a princess and her attention wavers from staring at the way Cassian's nightshirt turns slightly sheer in the firelight to kneading the sheets and blankets like a curious kitten.
"Your bed is bigger than mine." Is she jealous? Is she just idly noting it? Is she angling to trade? It's the second option, obvious when she continues. "But I suppose you are also bigger than me."
He puts in an extra log, figuring he can forgo one of the blankets if it gets too hot, but he'd rather her stay warmer. He doesn't even notice the way she tosses the robe, settling his own on the hook on the wall.
At first he feels a little self-conscious, but he's quick to realize she's only noting her observations aloud. Not quite smiling, he sits down on the bed and swings his legs up, tucking them under the blankets. "It's meant to be this big. For the title and all that." When you're the crown prince, apparently you get the biggest bed. "I would not say yours is small either though."
That means she is getting the big bed on Aria Prime. She nods once, in acknowledgement, before she shifts down to sit though she doesn't yet tuck herself in. Her legs curl underneath her.
"Don't I have a title? Aren't I worth as big a bed?" She is only arguing because she is scared to sleep again and it is clear there is zero heat or stake in the argument. She just wants to watch Cassian's polite verbal gymnastics.
He should lay down, but he feels weird doing so when she hasn't yet either, and he's still adjusting to her sitting there with him. The bed is big enough that there's still a large space between them, but he can feel her weight on the mattress.
"I think you gave me your whole title already," he says lightly, recognizing that she's mostly asking for delay and to see what he responds. "You are Princess of Fest, but only by marriage. It's, ah, assumed we'd share eventually, so as Crown Prince, this room and bed are mine, just like Fest is mine by birth." A beat. "Yours is probably the second biggest."
He honestly has no idea but he's just keeping the pseudo-argument going, even if he still gave her a pseudo-real answer.
"Princess of Fest," Jyn repeats, humming quietly. She'd heard their full, incredibly long and borderline obnoxious titles at the wedding, but she'd blocked it out. She finds she quite likes it when he calls her princess. She's definitely getting the bigger bed on Aria Prime, but she does start shifting under the blankets.
S l o w l y.
"I suppose we are meant to share." Like they are now. Sort of.
"We don't become kings or queens when coronated." There's a weird sense of fondness in the way she says princess though, which makes him think the simplicity of it is something she might like.
He wonders if she's waiting for him to settle in, so Cassian takes the plunge and lowers himself backwards, pulling the blankets up as he lays down. He's on his back, which seems the least threatening when the alternatives are facing her and facing away from her.
"It's not terribly uncommon for spouses to keep their own rooms anyway, despite that assumption," he notes idly. As though they are not, by technicality, sharing right now. Royal marriages are weird. "But that is the intent of the master bedroom, as it were."
She does like the simplicity. It seems so much more down to earth. Her mother had hated being gueen, Jyn remembers the way she would roll her eyes when the nobles had their backs turned, making Jyn stifle laughter against her mother's skirts. And it didn't seem fair, that Mama could be a queen but Papa couldn't be a king.
Cassian is Fest's prince, sure, but Jyn is his princess and she likes that.
"My parents shared. When I was small I used to sleep between them, Papa took to making me a little nest at the foot of the bed so I wouldn't take up the entire middle of the bed." She sinks down a little, wriggling under the blankets in increments. First her feet, then her legs, curling the blanket over her hips, slowly tucking herself in. It's not until she's laying down, curled on her side with part of the blankets gathered in front of her like a teddy bear, that she quietly adds: "I never thought I'd ever be married."
He's secretly glad the Festian titles don't go beyond that. He can't imagine being called King Cassian for the rest of his life, especially when he hasn't even lived in Fest his whole life.
He tilts his head towards her when she starts talking about her parents, glad for the way she burrows further into bed. She really needs to sleep. "My parents shared too." His brow pinches, like he's thinking and maybe not sure how true the memory is. "My mother used to let me sleep with them whenever I wanted. Sometimes she'd take me in there on her own."
But oh. It's so quiet, he almost misses her tiny confession, and his heart sinks a little bit. "I hope it's not all bad, so far." There's a pause, and his voice is just as quiet. "Did you ever want to be?"
"It..." She puffs out a sigh, shaking her head. "I was so small when we arrived in Lah'mu, I only had my parents for years. Whatever duties I had to Aria Prime weren't important. When Mama--" Jyn swallows past the pressure in her chest, lingering from the nightmare. "When Saw found me, any life I would have lived was over."
There was no point to marriage in the Partisans, no strategy or reason behind it except love, but Jyn had never witnessed that.
"I don't think it was ever something that occurred to me before, honestly." Her dolls didn't even get married, preferring solo adventures. "I knew it existed, of course, but there would never be any cause for it in my life. I was never going to be a princess, much less a queen."
When Mama - she says, cutting herself off, and Cassian knows Jyn was dreaming about her mother. It makes him want to take her hand, or tug her in, because the familiar ache of missing his mother isn't always buried like he hopes.
"I didn't mean out of duty." Though he supposes she answered that part too, in saying it never really crossed her mind at all. He really does feel sorry she was pulled into this. "My parents were lucky to be in love when they married. I suppose it was easier before the Empire. I always knew I would be married one day, but I also always knew it would be something to help Fest more than a choice."
What's strange is that he's telling her. Like she's a friend. And he supposes she is, given how quickly he'd grown to be more comfortable around her than most other people. He tries for something a little lighter and no less true. "But it's not so bad, so far."
"No, it's not," Jyn agrees, weak smile touching her features before it twists into a frown again as something occurs to her. Her mouth opens to ask a question and snaps shut again almost immediately. Maybe... that's for later. She makes a mental note to think about that later.
She huffs another sigh.
"It's just a lot to... get used to. But it isn't so bad with you, no." The smile flutters back, softer, almost shy. "I like Fest. It's freezing, but I like it here."
He doesn't miss the slip of a frown, and while he's curious, he's not going to ask. She's got too much to worry about already.
Besides, she agrees that it's not so bad with him. It makes him feel like they can handle it, makes him feel happier and more at ease. And she likes Fest. He's so stupidly pleased she likes his home, and a smile blooms on his own face, quiet and subdued, but it still softens his features. "I think we're adapting well, all things considered. I warned you it was cold but - I'm glad you like it here anyway."
She was right the day they met -- he should smile more. It always makes Jyn feel reassured when he smiles. It's an unfair situation for the both of them, but she trusts that he will try to make it work with her as long as she's necessary. She doesn't know if it will last, but.
Saw came back, maybe things are changing for her.
"Have you heard if Melshi's ribs have healed yet? Is he still cross with me?" The teasing note in her voice makes it clear she thinks Melshi's being a baby about it.
He feels like he's smiled more around Jyn than he has around most other people. Something about her makes it easier to be himself. They were both pulled into this without choice but - he likes her. It really isn't bad at all, and they're on the same page about a lot of things.
Cassian snorts at her teasing. "Between you and me, I think he's a little impressed, but don't be surprised if he watches you closely for a bit. They're mostly healed now, he'll be back in the field soon."
"Good. Round two." It's with that that she find settles under the blankets completely. Like the knowledge that she hasn't done irreparable harm makes her feel better, but she's also clearly smug as hell that she is the cause for Melshi's convalescence.
Of course it's the talk of punching that settles her. It only makes sense. But he's glad for the distraction from her dreams, so sorry about your life Melshi, he's gonna help her drag you.
"We are trained to fight. Melshi just made the mistake of underestimating you, whether from your size or because you were a prisoner. Maybe both. If you do ask him for round two, I'm sure he will agree."
Her eyebrows jump up, considering. She knows Melshi thought she was a little boy, not a very angry adult woman, of course he underestimated her. She doesn't, however, think he'll stop underestimating her now that the whole of the Alliance knows she is definitely a woman.
"Would you?" Agree to fight with her, underestimate her, it's really up to him, but Jyn personally wants to know if he'd be willing to spar with his brand new wife.
He is maybe a little taken aback initially, but when he thinks about it, it's not really a surprise.
"I don't underestimate anyone." Because in his line of spy work, anyone can kill you. "You want to spar with me?" That is more or less what she's asking he's pretty sure, but he's going to clarify, to give himself more time to answer.
It's not necessarily a no. It's definitely unusual and Draven would probably have a conniption, which honestly makes him want to say yes more than anything else.
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ohnofeelstho2017-06-16 12:11 am
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Jyn moves towards the picture of his parents and he can feel his chest tighten. It's the only one left of them, the rest destroyed when the Empire attacked the castle. He keeps it here because keeping it with himself is clearly the safest choice.
He watches the way she reaches for her necklace instead of looking at the portrait himself. "They say my father was very lucky to have her." There's a pause, like he's deliberating. "I don't remember much about them. Not as much as I would like."
He was six. His memories are patches and pieces, his father's laugh and his mother scooping him up to lift him in the air. "They were both born here, but Fest was her kingdom."
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"Fest is lucky to have you." His father may have been the lucky one, but his entire people are lucky to have Cassian looking after their best interests.
Struggling to push down her own tangle of familial emotions and unwilling to self-centeredly turn the attention to herself, even if it is bred out of wanting to remind him that he's not alone, she instead points out: "You have a lot of rocks."
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"I try," he says idly, awkward with the compliment. Her question about rocks doesn't make it any easier, because it feels a little silly to explain it aloud. He never has before, no one's ever asked. He answers because she probably needs the distraction.
"They're from the different places I've been." He reaches out to fix one of them, from Corellia. It must have gotten shuffled last time someone dusted.
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"Where's that one from? It's obsidian. Have you been to a volcanic planet?" Her eyes get all wide as she babbles, a little nervously, about the make up of all the different rocks without once giving Cassian the chance to tell her where they're from or where he found them. She's also right on almost off of the rocks and what type of planet they're from, fouling up a couple of them because it's late and dark and she's tired. She's allowed to make mistakes.
She trails off in the middle of a sentence about outwash plains and glacial sediments... biting her lip. "Sorry. That was... I didn't let you answer."
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He waves off her apology. "I don't label them," he says, with a very small and fond smile ghosting his face. She's the daughter of scientists, of course this is exciting to her, at least from a science perspective. "I remember where they all came from. I'm afraid I don't know as much about their individual make up as you seem to. But it'll be easier to tell when the room is better lit."
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She's not a nervous person by nature but that seems to be how she's feeling now, even if it's not quite true. Restless would be more accurate, brittle energy.
She knows she should sleep but. It's his bed, in his room. Should she ask permission first even though she almost never asks permission, for anything. She would have snatched up the rock if she hadn't just watched Cassian carefully fixing it.
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She's restless though, probably both from tiredness and the fact that she's going to sleep in here, with him. He's processing a similar feeling, even though it's his own room. He's never had anyone else in here before. He gestures vaguely at the bed. "You can settle in. I'm going to put another log on the fire first." A beat. "There's a chair, if you want to leave your robe on it."
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Back in just her nightgown, she tiptoes to the bed, watching Cassian idly as she smooths her blanket out a bit more before pulling the blankets back and heaving herself up to kneel on the bed. It's higher than hers, as well as being bigger. Even though she's been royal since birth, this bed makes her feel like a princess and her attention wavers from staring at the way Cassian's nightshirt turns slightly sheer in the firelight to kneading the sheets and blankets like a curious kitten.
"Your bed is bigger than mine." Is she jealous? Is she just idly noting it? Is she angling to trade? It's the second option, obvious when she continues. "But I suppose you are also bigger than me."
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At first he feels a little self-conscious, but he's quick to realize she's only noting her observations aloud. Not quite smiling, he sits down on the bed and swings his legs up, tucking them under the blankets. "It's meant to be this big. For the title and all that." When you're the crown prince, apparently you get the biggest bed. "I would not say yours is small either though."
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"Don't I have a title? Aren't I worth as big a bed?" She is only arguing because she is scared to sleep again and it is clear there is zero heat or stake in the argument. She just wants to watch Cassian's polite verbal gymnastics.
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"I think you gave me your whole title already," he says lightly, recognizing that she's mostly asking for delay and to see what he responds. "You are Princess of Fest, but only by marriage. It's, ah, assumed we'd share eventually, so as Crown Prince, this room and bed are mine, just like Fest is mine by birth." A beat. "Yours is probably the second biggest."
He honestly has no idea but he's just keeping the pseudo-argument going, even if he still gave her a pseudo-real answer.
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S l o w l y.
"I suppose we are meant to share." Like they are now. Sort of.
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He wonders if she's waiting for him to settle in, so Cassian takes the plunge and lowers himself backwards, pulling the blankets up as he lays down. He's on his back, which seems the least threatening when the alternatives are facing her and facing away from her.
"It's not terribly uncommon for spouses to keep their own rooms anyway, despite that assumption," he notes idly. As though they are not, by technicality, sharing right now. Royal marriages are weird. "But that is the intent of the master bedroom, as it were."
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Cassian is Fest's prince, sure, but Jyn is his princess and she likes that.
"My parents shared. When I was small I used to sleep between them, Papa took to making me a little nest at the foot of the bed so I wouldn't take up the entire middle of the bed." She sinks down a little, wriggling under the blankets in increments. First her feet, then her legs, curling the blanket over her hips, slowly tucking herself in. It's not until she's laying down, curled on her side with part of the blankets gathered in front of her like a teddy bear, that she quietly adds: "I never thought I'd ever be married."
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He tilts his head towards her when she starts talking about her parents, glad for the way she burrows further into bed. She really needs to sleep. "My parents shared too." His brow pinches, like he's thinking and maybe not sure how true the memory is. "My mother used to let me sleep with them whenever I wanted. Sometimes she'd take me in there on her own."
But oh. It's so quiet, he almost misses her tiny confession, and his heart sinks a little bit. "I hope it's not all bad, so far." There's a pause, and his voice is just as quiet. "Did you ever want to be?"
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There was no point to marriage in the Partisans, no strategy or reason behind it except love, but Jyn had never witnessed that.
"I don't think it was ever something that occurred to me before, honestly." Her dolls didn't even get married, preferring solo adventures. "I knew it existed, of course, but there would never be any cause for it in my life. I was never going to be a princess, much less a queen."
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"I didn't mean out of duty." Though he supposes she answered that part too, in saying it never really crossed her mind at all. He really does feel sorry she was pulled into this. "My parents were lucky to be in love when they married. I suppose it was easier before the Empire. I always knew I would be married one day, but I also always knew it would be something to help Fest more than a choice."
What's strange is that he's telling her. Like she's a friend. And he supposes she is, given how quickly he'd grown to be more comfortable around her than most other people. He tries for something a little lighter and no less true. "But it's not so bad, so far."
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She huffs another sigh.
"It's just a lot to... get used to. But it isn't so bad with you, no." The smile flutters back, softer, almost shy. "I like Fest. It's freezing, but I like it here."
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Besides, she agrees that it's not so bad with him. It makes him feel like they can handle it, makes him feel happier and more at ease. And she likes Fest. He's so stupidly pleased she likes his home, and a smile blooms on his own face, quiet and subdued, but it still softens his features. "I think we're adapting well, all things considered. I warned you it was cold but - I'm glad you like it here anyway."
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Saw came back, maybe things are changing for her.
"Have you heard if Melshi's ribs have healed yet? Is he still cross with me?" The teasing note in her voice makes it clear she thinks Melshi's being a baby about it.
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Cassian snorts at her teasing. "Between you and me, I think he's a little impressed, but don't be surprised if he watches you closely for a bit. They're mostly healed now, he'll be back in the field soon."
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"Your Alliance needs to learn how to fight."
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"We are trained to fight. Melshi just made the mistake of underestimating you, whether from your size or because you were a prisoner. Maybe both. If you do ask him for round two, I'm sure he will agree."
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"Would you?" Agree to fight with her, underestimate her, it's really up to him, but Jyn personally wants to know if he'd be willing to spar with his brand new wife.
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"I don't underestimate anyone." Because in his line of spy work, anyone can kill you. "You want to spar with me?" That is more or less what she's asking he's pretty sure, but he's going to clarify, to give himself more time to answer.
It's not necessarily a no. It's definitely unusual and Draven would probably have a conniption, which honestly makes him want to say yes more than anything else.
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