The smile breaks in, quietly and subtly, but what the hell, she's adorable? He's well aware of all the ways she can win a fight, but there is something incredibly soft and surprising about how she looks now, bundled up and relaxed beside him, in his bed and trying to convince him to stay there with her.
"Is it one of those very rare, very bright moons?"
She scoffs, the sound muffled by her hand as she draws it back under the covers. He's smiling and Jyn feels warm down to her toes. "Brighter than your sun isn't very difficult to achieve, Captain. I thought I told you to close your eyes."
Her fingers loosen from around his shirt, releasing him finally and lifting only slightly to press one blessedly warm finger to his mouth. "Listen to your wife, please."
"You'd be surprised how bright the snow can be," he says first, feeling his smile deepen a little bit more.
It doesn't disappear from his face when she literally shushes him, mostly because he is stupidly distracted by how warm her finger his against his lips. There's a reply on the tip of his tongue, but that means moving against her skin, so there's a stunted silence before he can bring himself speak. "How long do I need to close them for?"
Quickly, Jyn does some math in her head, weighing what she wants with what she'll actually get away with and finding the middle ground. She's a little enamored by his shock that, presumably, she dare shush him.
"One hour. Maybe by then the pale sun will have made an appearance." Her finger leaves his mouth and her hand falls, not to grab at his shirt again, she's too conscious for that, but it does nestle on the bed near to the same spot. Clutching at the blanket instead of his clothing.
An hour. He could probably get away with another hour. He's a pretty early riser, but he doesn't always dive into his day immediately. The fact that he's even considering it amazes him on some level, but the bed is extra warm this morning. Her hand is close enough that he could take it, if he wanted to. Part of him wants to.
"I might not fall back asleep," he admits, which is also the first step to agreeing to stay in bed longer.
"You can keep me company." Which is the whole point of making him stay in bed anyway. Jyn feels rested for the first time in a very long time and the only thing that has changed in all that time is Cassian.
She's not stupid. She is definitely taking his presence into account and although it will take much more study to form a real, genuine conclusion she is will to at least consider it may have something to do with him.
Satisfied, at least, that she's gotten her way this morning, she closes her eyes again and snuggles into the blankets once more. Nearly every bit of her gets buried under the blankets except her pale face and the hand lingering near his chest.
Not that it was ever any real doubt, but her saying so aloud is proof she wants him to stay with her, for no real discernible reason. It's a nice feeling.
"If I can't sleep, I may read." It's not actual productivity when he's reading for leisure, but it's very hard for Cassian to just sit still. He has three books on his bedside table because he's started them all and barely lets himself sit down to finish.
His hand falls idly near hers, close enough to feel how warm her skin is and for his thumb to barely brush against it.
Jyn hums thoughtfully, a deep heavy sigh of relaxation as she resettles under the covers.
"Will you read to me?"
She loves books and she knows he's the one leaving them next to her bed so she doesn't think his own personal tastes will differ from what he's already offered her. He'd been able to coax her out of the panic from her nightmare, she has no doubt he can coax her to sleep with his soft voice.
Again he's a little surprised, but there's no obvious sign of it. He leans over to reach for one of the books, then settles himself back into the blankets, tucking them under his arms so his hands are free.
"Only if you don't mind listening from the middle."
He could start from the beginning but he's already taken so long to get this far in it.
Jyn shakes her head, shifting closer. So he won't have to read too loudly, if anyone asks. It's completely appropriate that she move closer, mouth hovering only a few inches from his shoulder.
It's too close, but she doesn't care, she's never had much cause for not encroaching on his personal space.
Cassian does not like people in his space, which is why it's been odd since day one that Jyn ignoring boundaries doesn't seem to phase him. But she's very close now, and he can feel her warm breath on his shoulder. He doesn't mind at all.
He doesn't say anything directly in response, just flips open to his bookmark. It still takes him about thirty seconds to do it, but he picks up where he left off, reading aloud quietly. He doesn't read with any particular dramatics like one might read to a toddler, but his voice inflects as the text directs, low so it doesn't carry beyond them and this bed.
It doesn't take Jyn long at all to fall back asleep, a few pages at most, lulled to sleep by the warmth and the closeness and the soft sound of his voice. As the hour passes, Jyn makes no sign of waking, blissfully asleep. All the lines and weariness leaving her face, making her look softer, like the little girl she used to be.
Even as the sun rises higher, she doesn't wake, tipping her chin slightly so her eyes fall back into the shadow of the canopy.
Jyn falls asleep again soon enough, and it's easier to just believe it's because she was so tired rather than him having too much to do with it. After another minute or so, he stops reading aloud, but he does stay in bed and keep reading for another whole hour just like he said. He can't fall asleep, but he does nod off once or twice, never for long.
He really does linger longer than he should, but he does need to crawl out sooner rather than later. He can loosen the curtains on the canopy and close off the light, let her sleep even longer. Cassian closes up his book and shifts himself a little away from her, already missing how warm and close she was and pretending otherwise. He manages to climb fully out of bed this time without her stopping him, though she does grumble about it, and when she almost immediately rolls into the empty space he left behind, he stops and stares before shaking his head. He drops the canopy curtains, not enclosing the bed entirely but making sure they'll blot the sun from her face, and he leaves her be.
Some of the maids shoot him Looks he doesn't like or respond to, but Cassian goes about his morning and afternoon as usual. He doesn't see Jyn for either breakfast or lunch, and one of the maids tells him that she's still sleeping, despite them trying to wake her up to eat a quick lunch and leaving her in his bed after shoving some fruits and bread in her.
Like so many other things about marriage with Jyn, it's very odd to trust her in his room like that. When he pokes his head in to pick up documents from his office, he checks on her, but not because of mistrust so much as he's making sure she's still all right. She looks so peaceful, he doesn't have the heart to tell her how much of the day is passing by.
Until dinner. Cassian never eats in the massive dining hall unless he needs to, preferring the quiet little dining room closer to the kitchen, where the table only seats about six people. It's been nicer with Jyn there, less alone. Sometimes Bodhi joins them too, and he likes that even more. Today he wouldn't be surprised if she was still sleeping, but he sits down anyway, with a pile of papers next to him because escaping work is nearly always impossible and he isn't really expecting company tonight, though he will tell the maids to make sure Jyn gets up to eat a full meal.
Sleep compliments her. It leaves her soft and tender instead of surrounded by the usual bristle of emotional armor.
When the maids wake her to eat, she's barely awake, every question answered with a yawn as she rubs sleepily at her eyes. No, they did not have sex. Honestly, would he be out of the room right now if they did? Maids, please. Besides which, this will be a sexless marriage. Screw the Alliance if they want as heir. If he snores, she didn't notice. But yes, she does agree he looks very sweet when he's sleeping.
Once she's eaten something, they tuck her in again, stoking the fire to keep her warm.
Eventually they wake her again, bodily dragging her out of bed and shoving her into the simplest dress they can manage, looping her hair up into an equally simple braid that sits like a crown on her head. Then they shove her into the hall and cheerfully tell her there is food in the dining room. All of which is what finds her walking into the room, stifling a yawn behind her hand, and slumping down in the seat next to Cassian.
She squints at him, but it's clearly not some narrow-eyed gaze and instead her sleepy eyes adjusting to being open again. "Good morning."
He looks surprised when she walks in, but not unhappy. The smallest of smiles teases at his face. She's still yawning, but she looks far more rested than he thinks he's ever seen her.
"I think it's more like I'll be saying good night to you again soon." There isn't an ounce of anything mean in his tone. "I suppose I don't need to ask how you slept. Are you sure you're awake now?"
Since she definitely slept away the day, but she definitely needed it.
"I don't think I am," she admits, startling slightly when someone sets a plate and drink in front of her. Sometimes she's still surprised by people bringing her food. She'd found her own food with Saw and the only reason anyone brought her food in prison was because they weren't allowed to leave their cells. It's still something to get used to, but she says thank you before studiously picking at her meal to figure out what... it is.
Jam on toast she understands and starts in on that while she decides on the rest. "I'm still tired after all that."
There's a puff of a laugh, and he puts what he was reading down now that he has company. They set the food in front of him too, and Cassian gives a quick thank you. He always does, sometimes without even realizing. "Awake enough to eat, I hope."
He starts on his own bread. "You clearly needed the rest. I might suggest trying to stay up a little before going back to bed before you throw your entire body out of normal."
"I think that's been part of the problem, actually." Her nose crinkles up slightly, thinking of the past few weeks since she'd been dragged out of prison. Beyond the fact that she hasn't had much time to rest -- which is still exponentially more time than she'd had in prison -- her days had lost all structure entirely and even though she'd maintained her night owl tendencies, she still woke up early in the morning when the maids woke her.
She sleeps less now than she did in prison.
"I don't usually go to bed very early but I keep being woken up very early. My body is already out of order." A beat, she glances down at the tablecloth as if very interested by the stitching. "Thank you, for letting me stay in your room."
He frowns a little, not at her exactly, just in a general concern for her. Cassian knows sleep is fickle better than anyone, and he'd really like to help Jyn fall back into getting real rest.
"You can tell them to stop waking you up so early, or if you'd rather, frame it like a conversation, that you'd like a later start to the day. They may just be assuming you want to be awake when I am. Or is it more of a falling asleep in the first place problem?" It's probably a very personal question, but, well, they are married.
He pauses, spoon in midair when Jyn says thank you and looks down, and he watches her like he's waiting for her to look back up. She doesn't, but he understands why. "It was no trouble," he says honestly. "I have been there. If it is not too forward to offer, you are welcome to stay should it happen again."
It's too hard to just invite her to stay all the time, even though the thought has definitely crossed his mind. But they're still forging and reforging boundaries. He knows it helped her to sleep with him, but in the end it's her call.
She likes seeing him in the morning though, part of the problem with her speaking up to her ladies because she knows they would let her sleep -- imagine, they could sleep in, too! But she does like seeing Cassian in the morning. She decides not to mention that.
"It's not too forward." And her shoulders relax a little at the offer, nibbling more on her toast while she decides how to explain her sleep.
"I've always been something of a night owl, even Saw couldn't really fix it. If I try to sleep at an appropriate time, it simply... doesn't happen." She'll lay in bed for hours, which started her reading habit when she was young. Her dolls used to gambol across her blankets in the wee hours of the night, devouring books and making her toys live out the adventures she'd read about come late morning.
"It's not--" She gestures with her bread. "It's not the nightmares, I'm just not tired at the right times."
He listens to her explanation attentively, frowning only slightly because he's concerned. When he's home, Cassian mostly follows the standard nighttime sleep schedule, but he's not particularly tied down by hours. When you're a spy, you sleep when you can.
"Then it sounds like you definitely should start asking them to let you sleep in later. Or if you want to try and sleep earlier, there are teas that might help ease you into it."
He just wants her to feel better rested more often, okay!! Maybe it would help if she stayed with him all the time, but he's not about to make that assumption so soon.
"I will," Jyn promises, although she doesn't know if she will tell them right away. Eventually, maybe. "Perhaps I will start with the teas."
She does like tea, her secret.
Popping the last piece of bread in her mouth, she starts to work on the rest of her dinner. She still eats like she isn't well fed even though she knows Cassian makes sure that the maids make sure she gets plenty of food.
He smiles at her, glad she's at least pretending to listen to him. It seems safer to start with the hot drink rather than the maids, so he goes on there. "We have a a lot of teas, if you'd like to take a look. There are a few flavors good for sleep."
Honestly Cassian kind of loves how she eats. He's seen people completely panic over eating wrong, and while he knows all the manners, there is something very telling in the way a person consumes their food. Jyn doesn't care about that at all.
"I like this part best," he says, gesturing at the small cubes of meat settled on the tray between them. He gets the sense she's a little lost on what's what. "They grill it with mild spices."
Jyn will admit she has very delicate taste buds but she was poor for a very long time and lived off bland meat and maybe a root vegetable if she was lucky and mush in prison, she's still getting used to the cuisine of Fest.
She does pluck a piece up anyway, holding it between her thumb and index finger because cutlery is for losers. "If I start breathing fire, you only have yourself to blame." She pops it in her mouth with no further ado, licking the residue off her fingertips.
"Mild for you," he says, not quite smiling. He knows Jyn's stomach was far too used to prison food and near starvation, that on top of poor spice toleration Cassian has made sure most of the food she gets in Fest is something her body can handle. There's plenty of time to adapt. Even the mild dishes can still be very rich.
He reaches out to put some of the cubes on his own plate, picking one up with his hands too and trying not to watch the way her tongue flicks out over her fingers. "You'll have to build up to the ones that make us breathe fire."
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ohnofeelstho2017-06-16 12:11 am
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"Is it one of those very rare, very bright moons?"
Yeah, okay, fine. He'll play along for a second.
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Her fingers loosen from around his shirt, releasing him finally and lifting only slightly to press one blessedly warm finger to his mouth. "Listen to your wife, please."
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It doesn't disappear from his face when she literally shushes him, mostly because he is stupidly distracted by how warm her finger his against his lips. There's a reply on the tip of his tongue, but that means moving against her skin, so there's a stunted silence before he can bring himself speak. "How long do I need to close them for?"
She did say please.
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"One hour. Maybe by then the pale sun will have made an appearance." Her finger leaves his mouth and her hand falls, not to grab at his shirt again, she's too conscious for that, but it does nestle on the bed near to the same spot. Clutching at the blanket instead of his clothing.
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"I might not fall back asleep," he admits, which is also the first step to agreeing to stay in bed longer.
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She's not stupid. She is definitely taking his presence into account and although it will take much more study to form a real, genuine conclusion she is will to at least consider it may have something to do with him.
Satisfied, at least, that she's gotten her way this morning, she closes her eyes again and snuggles into the blankets once more. Nearly every bit of her gets buried under the blankets except her pale face and the hand lingering near his chest.
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"If I can't sleep, I may read." It's not actual productivity when he's reading for leisure, but it's very hard for Cassian to just sit still. He has three books on his bedside table because he's started them all and barely lets himself sit down to finish.
His hand falls idly near hers, close enough to feel how warm her skin is and for his thumb to barely brush against it.
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"Will you read to me?"
She loves books and she knows he's the one leaving them next to her bed so she doesn't think his own personal tastes will differ from what he's already offered her. He'd been able to coax her out of the panic from her nightmare, she has no doubt he can coax her to sleep with his soft voice.
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"Only if you don't mind listening from the middle."
He could start from the beginning but he's already taken so long to get this far in it.
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It's too close, but she doesn't care, she's never had much cause for not encroaching on his personal space.
"That's fine, yes."
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He doesn't say anything directly in response, just flips open to his bookmark. It still takes him about thirty seconds to do it, but he picks up where he left off, reading aloud quietly. He doesn't read with any particular dramatics like one might read to a toddler, but his voice inflects as the text directs, low so it doesn't carry beyond them and this bed.
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Even as the sun rises higher, she doesn't wake, tipping her chin slightly so her eyes fall back into the shadow of the canopy.
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He really does linger longer than he should, but he does need to crawl out sooner rather than later. He can loosen the curtains on the canopy and close off the light, let her sleep even longer. Cassian closes up his book and shifts himself a little away from her, already missing how warm and close she was and pretending otherwise. He manages to climb fully out of bed this time without her stopping him, though she does grumble about it, and when she almost immediately rolls into the empty space he left behind, he stops and stares before shaking his head. He drops the canopy curtains, not enclosing the bed entirely but making sure they'll blot the sun from her face, and he leaves her be.
Some of the maids shoot him Looks he doesn't like or respond to, but Cassian goes about his morning and afternoon as usual. He doesn't see Jyn for either breakfast or lunch, and one of the maids tells him that she's still sleeping, despite them trying to wake her up to eat a quick lunch and leaving her in his bed after shoving some fruits and bread in her.
Like so many other things about marriage with Jyn, it's very odd to trust her in his room like that. When he pokes his head in to pick up documents from his office, he checks on her, but not because of mistrust so much as he's making sure she's still all right. She looks so peaceful, he doesn't have the heart to tell her how much of the day is passing by.
Until dinner. Cassian never eats in the massive dining hall unless he needs to, preferring the quiet little dining room closer to the kitchen, where the table only seats about six people. It's been nicer with Jyn there, less alone. Sometimes Bodhi joins them too, and he likes that even more. Today he wouldn't be surprised if she was still sleeping, but he sits down anyway, with a pile of papers next to him because escaping work is nearly always impossible and he isn't really expecting company tonight, though he will tell the maids to make sure Jyn gets up to eat a full meal.
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When the maids wake her to eat, she's barely awake, every question answered with a yawn as she rubs sleepily at her eyes. No, they did not have sex. Honestly, would he be out of the room right now if they did? Maids, please. Besides which, this will be a sexless marriage. Screw the Alliance if they want as heir. If he snores, she didn't notice. But yes, she does agree he looks very sweet when he's sleeping.
Once she's eaten something, they tuck her in again, stoking the fire to keep her warm.
Eventually they wake her again, bodily dragging her out of bed and shoving her into the simplest dress they can manage, looping her hair up into an equally simple braid that sits like a crown on her head. Then they shove her into the hall and cheerfully tell her there is food in the dining room. All of which is what finds her walking into the room, stifling a yawn behind her hand, and slumping down in the seat next to Cassian.
She squints at him, but it's clearly not some narrow-eyed gaze and instead her sleepy eyes adjusting to being open again. "Good morning."
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"I think it's more like I'll be saying good night to you again soon." There isn't an ounce of anything mean in his tone. "I suppose I don't need to ask how you slept. Are you sure you're awake now?"
Since she definitely slept away the day, but she definitely needed it.
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Jam on toast she understands and starts in on that while she decides on the rest. "I'm still tired after all that."
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He starts on his own bread. "You clearly needed the rest. I might suggest trying to stay up a little before going back to bed before you throw your entire body out of normal."
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She sleeps less now than she did in prison.
"I don't usually go to bed very early but I keep being woken up very early. My body is already out of order." A beat, she glances down at the tablecloth as if very interested by the stitching. "Thank you, for letting me stay in your room."
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"You can tell them to stop waking you up so early, or if you'd rather, frame it like a conversation, that you'd like a later start to the day. They may just be assuming you want to be awake when I am. Or is it more of a falling asleep in the first place problem?" It's probably a very personal question, but, well, they are married.
He pauses, spoon in midair when Jyn says thank you and looks down, and he watches her like he's waiting for her to look back up. She doesn't, but he understands why. "It was no trouble," he says honestly. "I have been there. If it is not too forward to offer, you are welcome to stay should it happen again."
It's too hard to just invite her to stay all the time, even though the thought has definitely crossed his mind. But they're still forging and reforging boundaries. He knows it helped her to sleep with him, but in the end it's her call.
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"It's not too forward." And her shoulders relax a little at the offer, nibbling more on her toast while she decides how to explain her sleep.
"I've always been something of a night owl, even Saw couldn't really fix it. If I try to sleep at an appropriate time, it simply... doesn't happen." She'll lay in bed for hours, which started her reading habit when she was young. Her dolls used to gambol across her blankets in the wee hours of the night, devouring books and making her toys live out the adventures she'd read about come late morning.
"It's not--" She gestures with her bread. "It's not the nightmares, I'm just not tired at the right times."
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"Then it sounds like you definitely should start asking them to let you sleep in later. Or if you want to try and sleep earlier, there are teas that might help ease you into it."
He just wants her to feel better rested more often, okay!! Maybe it would help if she stayed with him all the time, but he's not about to make that assumption so soon.
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She does like tea, her secret.
Popping the last piece of bread in her mouth, she starts to work on the rest of her dinner. She still eats like she isn't well fed even though she knows Cassian makes sure that the maids make sure she gets plenty of food.
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Honestly Cassian kind of loves how she eats. He's seen people completely panic over eating wrong, and while he knows all the manners, there is something very telling in the way a person consumes their food. Jyn doesn't care about that at all.
"I like this part best," he says, gesturing at the small cubes of meat settled on the tray between them. He gets the sense she's a little lost on what's what. "They grill it with mild spices."
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Jyn will admit she has very delicate taste buds but she was poor for a very long time and lived off bland meat and maybe a root vegetable if she was lucky and mush in prison, she's still getting used to the cuisine of Fest.
She does pluck a piece up anyway, holding it between her thumb and index finger because cutlery is for losers. "If I start breathing fire, you only have yourself to blame." She pops it in her mouth with no further ado, licking the residue off her fingertips.
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He reaches out to put some of the cubes on his own plate, picking one up with his hands too and trying not to watch the way her tongue flicks out over her fingers. "You'll have to build up to the ones that make us breathe fire."
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