Jyn at the very least makes Rey wave to Cassian before she turns to leave, tucking Rey into the carrier as she goes. Rey's wails of displeasure travel back through the hangar before the door slams shut behind them.
Once home Jyn manages to settle her with a bath but when she tries to get her out, Rey kicks off again and Jyn decides that this isn't a battle she cares about winning so Rey gets to stay in the bath until she decides she wants to get out. Which is fine, Jyn tugs her out for a few minutes to make a cup of tea, holding her all sopping wet against her chest regardless of how wet she's getting herself, and then they just hang out in the bathroom. Rey splashes in the tub, babbling at the bubbly water in delight, and Jyn sips her tea as she leans against the vanity.
Occasionally Rey will bleat for attention and Jyn will tell her a story, telling Rey all about the adventures she went on with her own mother and about all the planets she's seen. "You'll see it one day, starshine. It's cold, but the water is so blue, like the planet has two skies."
Taia does not stick around much longer; she really is on business in the hangar, and she apologizes several times over for causing any sort of rift. Cassian just feels strange talking to her, with little desire to reconnect even as friends. He just feels too different now.
Still, he doesn't come home until dinner time because of work. True to his word, he does bring with him a bag of take out. He comes inside quietly, listening and hearing wife and daughter in the bathroom.
He stops outside the door to hear Jyn talking about her mother, about some far off planet, and his heart sinks again with guilt. Never before now has he felt so strongly about Jyn and Rey getting to leave Coruscant, even if he had to stay behind.
Cassian raps gently on the doorframe after another few moments. "I have food," he says quietly, hoping his voice doesn't carry to interrupt whatever rapport Jyn has with Rey.
Rey shrieks in delight when she hears Cassian and Jyn stretches out to peel the door open so Rey can see her father too. She squeals more, splashing so much she nearly tips over before Jyn snaps her hand out to steady her.
"Come on in, she doesn't want to leave." Jyn gestures to her tea as if it's evidence that one of them isn't moving anytime soon. At least her shirt is starting to dry, so there's that.
She looks up at Cassian as Rey continues to happily babble. "Did you enjoy your reunion? She's very pretty." Which has nothing to do with the point or even the question, but there it is. She was very gorgeous and tall and delightful and it's fine. Jyn's fine. Cassian deserves someone gorgeous and tall and delightful.
Even with the weirdness, Rey's happy shriek for him teases a smile on his face. He sets the food outside the door before coming inside, smiling softly at his daughter who apparently just wants to splash into infinity.
It fades a little, when Jyn brings it all up again, but he still tickles under Rey's chin. Jyn is prettier, he thinks, startled by the thought and how much he'd argue it. "She left, about ten minutes after you did."
Rey kicks some water at his shirt gleefully. He feels like he needs to explain a lot but he doesn't really know where to start. Instead he just splashes some of the water at Rey's belly and she giggles. "You're going to turn into a prune."
"Oh? I thought she would stay longer. To visit." Not that Jyn had imagined them all tangled up and sweaty on Cassian's workbench or anything, a tangle of brown limbs, Taia's long hair all mussed and sexily tousled with her head tipped back as Cassian peppered kisses across her chest.
Jyn takes a sip of her now cold tea, idly smoothing down her messy bun, tucking her disheveled hair behind her ears. Her hands both settle around the mug as she watches Cassian with their daughter, frown settling on her expression.
"She could have stayed, if you wanted her to. I wouldn't mind." She clearly doesn't mean that Taia could have stayed, she means that if Cassian wanted to reignite their casual friends with benefits arrangement Jyn wouldn't had said anything. She has no right to say anything. People cheat on their spouses all the time and it's not like she and Cassian are actually married.
Cassian steals a glance at her with her tea, distracted from the way Rey keeps playing in the tub. His shirt gets wetter, but he doesn't even seem to notice. To visit indeed. "It was business. She was not even aware I was there at first."
He frowns as he looks back to Rey, because he does know what she means. It hurts a little, the assumption that he could or would easily go back to Taia, and some of that shows on his face. Not even that he would jeopardize the mission, but that he would when Jyn -
When Jyn what? They're not really married. But the idea that he would do that, go off and pretend Jyn and Rey and their life wasn't there still stings. She'd said she was glad it was him, but he supposes it doesn't mean she has to have a high opinion of him. "I didn't want her to."
Gulp. Jyn coughs, choking on a bit of her tea she swallowed down wrong because she didn't mean to ask that, she meant to say something entirely different and instead that came out, sounding confused and maybe a little hopeful before she's consumed with horror.
"I only meant-- Well, we're not really married, are we? The job shouldn't stop you from getting what you need and Rey sleeps through the night now so there isn't any pressing reason for us both to be here at night if you wanted to pursue... that." She sets her mug on the toilet. "Just because we're here doesn't mean you don't deserve to have a life or to relax for once, especially now that everything is settling."
One of them deserves it at least, and Jyn thinks Cassian's given up more for this mission than she has.
Cassian looks back at her again, surprised by the question but it all makes him sad too. His life is them. It's Jyn and Rey and maybe it's not conventional, but he can't imagine them not in it. He can't imagine not being here at night.
"I don't need sex." He doesn't know what he needs, except maybe just whatever pieces of happiness he can get carved out of this life. Maybe just Rey is enough for Jyn's.
"What I deserve does not often line up with what I can have." He leans down and kisses Rey's forehead, and she claps her hands against his face, wrinkling her nose when her soft hands brush over his stubble. He probably doesn't deserve Rey either. "I don't want Taia. I have not for years. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression."
Automatic, the sight of Cassian playing with their daughter tugs a smile on to her mouth, but it doesn't last very long, even if her expression stays less sharp after his apology.
"You don't need to apologize. It's not like-- It was before, it's irrelevant, I was just startled. I shouldn't have snapped at you." As much as an apology as Jyn ever does, she sounds apologetic enough to convey the sentiment without the words.
He looks over his shoulder at her warily, the pseudo apology ringing in his ears. Her quiet question is a loaded one he doesn't have an answer to. At least not one he feels like he can share.
"I want this one to get out of the bath." And he scoops his hands under Rey's arms to lift her from the tub. She shrieks with surprise, but doesn't seem bothered to be out of the water and in her papa's hold instead.
Whatever hope that had quietly flared to life is snuffed out immediately and Jyn feels stupid for asking in the first place. What else was she expecting? She knows this is only for show, it's a farce and a job and the only thing between them is the solidarity of being stuck in the same position, a sort of workplace friendship.
Jyn smiles at Rey's cheerful noises, passing over the towel as she pushes to her feet. "If you've got her, I'm going to take a break. Her pajamas are on the dresser with her tooka."
It's dinner time, not sleep time, but Jyn just wants to hide under the safety of the covers for a little while. At least as long as it takes for Cassian to decide she has to eat and beckons her back into the living room. She drops a kiss on Rey's head before slipping out of the bathroom.
He doesn't notice the way Jyn deflates, too consumed with trying to ignore his own feelings by drowning in Rey's existence. Her turn of phrase makes him frown though, because it seems like a backslide. Take a break. Switching off all over again. But he nods anyway, resisting the urge to kiss Jyn's forehead when she kisses Rey's.
Cassian busies himself with drying off Rey, turning it into a game while he gets her in her pajamas and talks nonsense at her. She eagerly starts to gnaw on the tooka when he offers it, and in a few minutes after dumping the tub water and cleaning up most of the mess, Cassian hoists Rey at his hip and finally leaves the bathroom too.
Jyn's a lump under the blankets when he steps out, and against the temptation otherwise, he lets her stay there while he scoops up the bag of food and takes both it and daughter into the kitchen to putter around. He pulls out plates and forks and starts to boil up some water for a bottle, Rey kicking her legs idly as she watches all the motions.
Jyn doesn't actually linger very long, enough to gather herself, before she comes back into the apartment proper (she'd changed her shirt and it's Cassian's but that's irrelevant). She has one of their thinner blankets around her shoulders like a cape and she tiptoes over to Cassian and Rey, draping the blanket over the three of them like a tent, right in the middle of what Cassian is doing, all so she can pepper kisses over Rey's face to her utter, giggly delight.
From under the blankets she's still holding up, she looks up at Cassian, frown turning her mouth down.
"I... am sorry. For being..." Snippy, snappy, herself. "I wasn't expecting to run into your past like that. Especially since your past is so kriffing gorgeous, like. How is that a real person, honestly. People don't look like that."
He hears her coming, but his hands are full and he's maybe still a little down, so he doesn't look at her and the blanket over all their heads is a surprise. He shifts to find her face immediately, going fond over the way she drowns Rey in affection.
But when Jyn looks up at him, he can't help but meet her gaze. His own frown comes back too.
"It's not like I was expecting it either. It's okay." She's wearing his shirt and he's trying to pretend it's nothing, like always. "We were never serious. I was never going to -" He has no reason to ask, because his past is irrelevant to them now and the mission, but the blanket draped over their heads almost makes everything feel real. He doesn't know why he's nervous, but Rey chattering between them is soothing, and he looks down at her instead of Jyn. "Did you really think I would go to her like that?"
Rey is a good distraction, but she can't seem to look away from Cassian just yet, studying him carefully. As always she can't really get a read on him which is frustrating. Is he just cross because she was obnoxious in front of his old friend who he casually fucked...
Stop it, Jyn Erso. Answer him.
"I didn't know. I hoped you wouldn't, but." Her shoulders lift in a shrug, turning her attention back to Rey because there's a reason she doesn't like to talk -- this is all incredibly uncomfortable and any time she ever opens up, she's just reminded that it's pointless and all that comes from it is pain.
His shoulders sink a little and his frown deepens, but he can't blame her. He looks less cross now and more defeated. Rey throws her arms up in the air, smacking Jyn in the chin and Cassian in the chest.
Should he apologize again?? It feels like way more than just a situational thing. Figuring out where to take it is hard, and he doesn't know why it bothers him so much that she would even entertain the idea. They're not even really married. Jyn is being fairly logical about the whole thing all things considered, save the moment when she'd snapped. She was bothered before but also dismissive and he can't tell which part is the real one.
His voice is quieter when he finally speaks up again. "I would not have. I promise."
Jyn rubs her chin idly, reaching out to take Rey's hand to kiss her little palm, smiling as the baby's fingers curl around her thumb. After a moment, she lets the arm still holding the blanket drop and it slips off them both, puddling at their feet.
"Why not?"
That's what is prickling at her. Taia was sweet and charmed by their daughter and so inhumanely and insanely attractive, Jyn doesn't understand why Cassian wouldn't want to take advantage of that opportunity. Heck, Jyn kind of wants to. Okay, wait, is she attracted to Taia? That's weird. Back to the point.
Oh. He misses the blanket as soon as it's gone, feeling like the world is back to intruding on them, reminding him of the galaxy at large and his place in it.
But Jyn kisses Rey's hand and he smiles, softly. This is why.
"Because this is where I am now." He ducks his head down to kiss Rey's head and she lets out a coo from the double parental affection. "I don't have a reason to see Taia again. I'd rather be here."
There. That's true. Rey shrieks, jerking around in Cassian's arms. The smooches are definitely acceptable, but she starts to fuss a little again too. The Hunger approaches.
He says it all to Rey, kissing her hair, and Jyn can't blame him. Rey is perfect and wonderful and the only good thing Jyn has ever done, ever. She'd rather be here, too, but... somewhere along the line her reasons for wanting to stay turned from Rey to Rey and Cassian and she knows it's just Rey for Cassian. It's obviously just Rey for Cassian.
The shriek makes her wince, but she's grateful for the shrill noise, detaching herself to stoop down and gather up the blanket. She wills her expression to neutrality, if a little pained.
"I'm glad." Rey deserves her Papa. Leaning in, she gives Rey a kiss on the nose before straightening up again. "I thought the tea would have helped my headache from her wailing earlier, but it hasn't so I'm going to head to bed. Maybe the dark will help." She shrugs, as if implying she doesn't think it will, but it's not her head that hurts in the first place. "Have her kiss me good night later, yeah? Save me some dinner for tomorrow."
Jyn is included in that, but he probably should have realized she wouldn't notice if he didn't say so outright. Rey's fussing is sufficiently distracting, and he bounces her a little.
"Are you sure? The food may help too." She still looks upset, and he's still kind of upset, and Rey is starting to whine now, so apparently the whole house is just unhappy.
But without the blanket to keep them close, Cassian slips towards the boiling water, taking the bottle out now that it's been warmed up. Rey reaches for it, nearly smacking it out of his hands in her haste. "Patience, you."
He looks back at Jyn, concerned etched on his face. "It's not just Rey I want to be here for, you know. Take something, if your headache does not leave."
"Yeah, of course." Sure. That vague agreement is most definitely only about taking care of herself and not Cassian tacking on a platitude because she obviously can't keep her upset to herself.
"I'll be right in there if you need me."
But he won't because everything he needs and wants is settled in his arms. Jyn brushes her hand over Rey's downy soft hair for a moment before she moves back to the bedroom, slipping inside and leaving the door open behind her. Just in case. Time to crawl into bed and regret 99% of her life until she passes out.
He feels like he's done something wrong all over again, but he can't go talk to her about it because 1) talking is difficult and 2) Rey is about to start crying if she doesn't get her goddamn bottle. Cassian pops it in her mouth and she drinks it up greedily. They've managed to stop her eating so much, but when he tries to take it away tonight, she starts crying. He gives her a little more, but she keeps crying every time he tries to stop. Not wanting her to overeat, he just deals with it, rocking her around the kitchen and tempting her with her tooka as well as hoisting her up in the air to get a laugh out of her.
Her crying calms, but the rest of the night doesn't fair much better. She fusses and demands his attention while he tries to eat, whining loudly every time he puts her down, and flailing her arms at his hands every time he picks up the fork.
As her bed time approaches, she just enters a steady stream of hiccups and sobs and wails that fluctuate in volume. Nothing he says or does seems to settle her, from laying with her on his chest to allowing her a little more food. An hour past her usual bed time passes, and she's still up.
He starts to pace with her, swaying Rey in his arms and humming under his breath. "It's bed time now, little star. You need to sleep."
Rey just keeps sobbing into his shoulder, and Cassian's humming turns into singing. It's an old lullaby he thought he forget, half in basic and half in Fest, but the longer it goes on, the quieter Rey gets.
Jyn knows she should go to their daughter, help Cassian soothe her tears, be a good mother and partner, but she is neither of those and she stays hiding in their bedroom, going so far as to getting water out of their bathroom sink so she doesn't have to go out and see them both.
But then he's singing and it's... it's not a shock, but she's not expecting it either and the newness of it makes her move to the door, peaking around the edge of the frame to watch him walking Rey around. She looks so unhappy and it breaks Jyn's heart, but.
The song finishes, and those few moments of quiet have Rey letting out a few more wails. "Rey, Rey, Rey, hush now, you must be so tired." He whispers into her ear, kisses her head, then starts singing again.
It settles her, just not enough to sleep. He paces tiredly with his daughter, rubbing her back and singing softly in Fest. He catches a glimpse of Jyn watching them from the doorway and feels caught; his ears go red, but he doesn't dare stop when it's the only thing keeping Rey's sobbing to a lower murmur. She hiccups against his chest, fussing and incredibly unhappy and Cassian is at an utter loss. His heart hurts, because it seems like he can't do anything right tonight with the two people most important to him.
Eventually Jyn can't take it anymore and tiptoes over, carefully brushing the back of her finger against Rey's cheek. She doesn't say anything, doesn't interrupt Cassian's soft lullaby, but she gestures back toward their room, gestures for him to follow her as she heads back.
Whatever she feels, whatever Cassian doesn't feel, it can't affect Rey and it is, Jyn is letting it because she's selfish and terrible and doesn't deserve the little girl tucked in Cassian's arms.
Maybe that's why she doesn't look back to even see if he's following her because she doesn't want to watch him not.
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ohnofeelstho2017-05-14 03:23 pm
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Once home Jyn manages to settle her with a bath but when she tries to get her out, Rey kicks off again and Jyn decides that this isn't a battle she cares about winning so Rey gets to stay in the bath until she decides she wants to get out. Which is fine, Jyn tugs her out for a few minutes to make a cup of tea, holding her all sopping wet against her chest regardless of how wet she's getting herself, and then they just hang out in the bathroom. Rey splashes in the tub, babbling at the bubbly water in delight, and Jyn sips her tea as she leans against the vanity.
Occasionally Rey will bleat for attention and Jyn will tell her a story, telling Rey all about the adventures she went on with her own mother and about all the planets she's seen. "You'll see it one day, starshine. It's cold, but the water is so blue, like the planet has two skies."
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Still, he doesn't come home until dinner time because of work. True to his word, he does bring with him a bag of take out. He comes inside quietly, listening and hearing wife and daughter in the bathroom.
He stops outside the door to hear Jyn talking about her mother, about some far off planet, and his heart sinks again with guilt. Never before now has he felt so strongly about Jyn and Rey getting to leave Coruscant, even if he had to stay behind.
Cassian raps gently on the doorframe after another few moments. "I have food," he says quietly, hoping his voice doesn't carry to interrupt whatever rapport Jyn has with Rey.
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"Come on in, she doesn't want to leave." Jyn gestures to her tea as if it's evidence that one of them isn't moving anytime soon. At least her shirt is starting to dry, so there's that.
She looks up at Cassian as Rey continues to happily babble. "Did you enjoy your reunion? She's very pretty." Which has nothing to do with the point or even the question, but there it is. She was very gorgeous and tall and delightful and it's fine. Jyn's fine. Cassian deserves someone gorgeous and tall and delightful.
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It fades a little, when Jyn brings it all up again, but he still tickles under Rey's chin. Jyn is prettier, he thinks, startled by the thought and how much he'd argue it. "She left, about ten minutes after you did."
Rey kicks some water at his shirt gleefully. He feels like he needs to explain a lot but he doesn't really know where to start. Instead he just splashes some of the water at Rey's belly and she giggles. "You're going to turn into a prune."
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Jyn takes a sip of her now cold tea, idly smoothing down her messy bun, tucking her disheveled hair behind her ears. Her hands both settle around the mug as she watches Cassian with their daughter, frown settling on her expression.
"She could have stayed, if you wanted her to. I wouldn't mind." She clearly doesn't mean that Taia could have stayed, she means that if Cassian wanted to reignite their casual friends with benefits arrangement Jyn wouldn't had said anything. She has no right to say anything. People cheat on their spouses all the time and it's not like she and Cassian are actually married.
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He frowns as he looks back to Rey, because he does know what she means. It hurts a little, the assumption that he could or would easily go back to Taia, and some of that shows on his face. Not even that he would jeopardize the mission, but that he would when Jyn -
When Jyn what? They're not really married. But the idea that he would do that, go off and pretend Jyn and Rey and their life wasn't there still stings. She'd said she was glad it was him, but he supposes it doesn't mean she has to have a high opinion of him. "I didn't want her to."
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Gulp. Jyn coughs, choking on a bit of her tea she swallowed down wrong because she didn't mean to ask that, she meant to say something entirely different and instead that came out, sounding confused and maybe a little hopeful before she's consumed with horror.
"I only meant-- Well, we're not really married, are we? The job shouldn't stop you from getting what you need and Rey sleeps through the night now so there isn't any pressing reason for us both to be here at night if you wanted to pursue... that." She sets her mug on the toilet. "Just because we're here doesn't mean you don't deserve to have a life or to relax for once, especially now that everything is settling."
One of them deserves it at least, and Jyn thinks Cassian's given up more for this mission than she has.
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"I don't need sex." He doesn't know what he needs, except maybe just whatever pieces of happiness he can get carved out of this life. Maybe just Rey is enough for Jyn's.
"What I deserve does not often line up with what I can have." He leans down and kisses Rey's forehead, and she claps her hands against his face, wrinkling her nose when her soft hands brush over his stubble. He probably doesn't deserve Rey either. "I don't want Taia. I have not for years. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression."
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"You don't need to apologize. It's not like-- It was before, it's irrelevant, I was just startled. I shouldn't have snapped at you." As much as an apology as Jyn ever does, she sounds apologetic enough to convey the sentiment without the words.
Quietly, she adds: "What do you want?"
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"I want this one to get out of the bath." And he scoops his hands under Rey's arms to lift her from the tub. She shrieks with surprise, but doesn't seem bothered to be out of the water and in her papa's hold instead.
Avoidance strikes again, ayyy.
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Whatever hope that had quietly flared to life is snuffed out immediately and Jyn feels stupid for asking in the first place. What else was she expecting? She knows this is only for show, it's a farce and a job and the only thing between them is the solidarity of being stuck in the same position, a sort of workplace friendship.
Jyn smiles at Rey's cheerful noises, passing over the towel as she pushes to her feet. "If you've got her, I'm going to take a break. Her pajamas are on the dresser with her tooka."
It's dinner time, not sleep time, but Jyn just wants to hide under the safety of the covers for a little while. At least as long as it takes for Cassian to decide she has to eat and beckons her back into the living room. She drops a kiss on Rey's head before slipping out of the bathroom.
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Cassian busies himself with drying off Rey, turning it into a game while he gets her in her pajamas and talks nonsense at her. She eagerly starts to gnaw on the tooka when he offers it, and in a few minutes after dumping the tub water and cleaning up most of the mess, Cassian hoists Rey at his hip and finally leaves the bathroom too.
Jyn's a lump under the blankets when he steps out, and against the temptation otherwise, he lets her stay there while he scoops up the bag of food and takes both it and daughter into the kitchen to putter around. He pulls out plates and forks and starts to boil up some water for a bottle, Rey kicking her legs idly as she watches all the motions.
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From under the blankets she's still holding up, she looks up at Cassian, frown turning her mouth down.
"I... am sorry. For being..." Snippy, snappy, herself. "I wasn't expecting to run into your past like that. Especially since your past is so kriffing gorgeous, like. How is that a real person, honestly. People don't look like that."
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But when Jyn looks up at him, he can't help but meet her gaze. His own frown comes back too.
"It's not like I was expecting it either. It's okay." She's wearing his shirt and he's trying to pretend it's nothing, like always. "We were never serious. I was never going to -" He has no reason to ask, because his past is irrelevant to them now and the mission, but the blanket draped over their heads almost makes everything feel real. He doesn't know why he's nervous, but Rey chattering between them is soothing, and he looks down at her instead of Jyn. "Did you really think I would go to her like that?"
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Stop it, Jyn Erso. Answer him.
"I didn't know. I hoped you wouldn't, but." Her shoulders lift in a shrug, turning her attention back to Rey because there's a reason she doesn't like to talk -- this is all incredibly uncomfortable and any time she ever opens up, she's just reminded that it's pointless and all that comes from it is pain.
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Should he apologize again?? It feels like way more than just a situational thing. Figuring out where to take it is hard, and he doesn't know why it bothers him so much that she would even entertain the idea. They're not even really married. Jyn is being fairly logical about the whole thing all things considered, save the moment when she'd snapped. She was bothered before but also dismissive and he can't tell which part is the real one.
His voice is quieter when he finally speaks up again. "I would not have. I promise."
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"Why not?"
That's what is prickling at her. Taia was sweet and charmed by their daughter and so inhumanely and insanely attractive, Jyn doesn't understand why Cassian wouldn't want to take advantage of that opportunity. Heck, Jyn kind of wants to. Okay, wait, is she attracted to Taia? That's weird. Back to the point.
"I'm glad you didn't and won't, but... why?"
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But Jyn kisses Rey's hand and he smiles, softly. This is why.
"Because this is where I am now." He ducks his head down to kiss Rey's head and she lets out a coo from the double parental affection. "I don't have a reason to see Taia again. I'd rather be here."
There. That's true. Rey shrieks, jerking around in Cassian's arms. The smooches are definitely acceptable, but she starts to fuss a little again too. The Hunger approaches.
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The shriek makes her wince, but she's grateful for the shrill noise, detaching herself to stoop down and gather up the blanket. She wills her expression to neutrality, if a little pained.
"I'm glad." Rey deserves her Papa. Leaning in, she gives Rey a kiss on the nose before straightening up again. "I thought the tea would have helped my headache from her wailing earlier, but it hasn't so I'm going to head to bed. Maybe the dark will help." She shrugs, as if implying she doesn't think it will, but it's not her head that hurts in the first place. "Have her kiss me good night later, yeah? Save me some dinner for tomorrow."
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"Are you sure? The food may help too." She still looks upset, and he's still kind of upset, and Rey is starting to whine now, so apparently the whole house is just unhappy.
But without the blanket to keep them close, Cassian slips towards the boiling water, taking the bottle out now that it's been warmed up. Rey reaches for it, nearly smacking it out of his hands in her haste. "Patience, you."
He looks back at Jyn, concerned etched on his face. "It's not just Rey I want to be here for, you know. Take something, if your headache does not leave."
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"I'll be right in there if you need me."
But he won't because everything he needs and wants is settled in his arms. Jyn brushes her hand over Rey's downy soft hair for a moment before she moves back to the bedroom, slipping inside and leaving the door open behind her. Just in case. Time to crawl into bed and regret 99% of her life until she passes out.
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Her crying calms, but the rest of the night doesn't fair much better. She fusses and demands his attention while he tries to eat, whining loudly every time he puts her down, and flailing her arms at his hands every time he picks up the fork.
As her bed time approaches, she just enters a steady stream of hiccups and sobs and wails that fluctuate in volume. Nothing he says or does seems to settle her, from laying with her on his chest to allowing her a little more food. An hour past her usual bed time passes, and she's still up.
He starts to pace with her, swaying Rey in his arms and humming under his breath. "It's bed time now, little star. You need to sleep."
Rey just keeps sobbing into his shoulder, and Cassian's humming turns into singing. It's an old lullaby he thought he forget, half in basic and half in Fest, but the longer it goes on, the quieter Rey gets.
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But then he's singing and it's... it's not a shock, but she's not expecting it either and the newness of it makes her move to the door, peaking around the edge of the frame to watch him walking Rey around. She looks so unhappy and it breaks Jyn's heart, but.
She's with her Papa, she'll be fine.
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It settles her, just not enough to sleep. He paces tiredly with his daughter, rubbing her back and singing softly in Fest. He catches a glimpse of Jyn watching them from the doorway and feels caught; his ears go red, but he doesn't dare stop when it's the only thing keeping Rey's sobbing to a lower murmur. She hiccups against his chest, fussing and incredibly unhappy and Cassian is at an utter loss. His heart hurts, because it seems like he can't do anything right tonight with the two people most important to him.
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Whatever she feels, whatever Cassian doesn't feel, it can't affect Rey and it is, Jyn is letting it because she's selfish and terrible and doesn't deserve the little girl tucked in Cassian's arms.
Maybe that's why she doesn't look back to even see if he's following her because she doesn't want to watch him not.
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