realists: (ro » watching)
jyn ✧ (ง •̀_•́)ง ✧ erso ([personal profile] realists) wrote in [community profile] ohnofeelstho2017-11-27 11:07 pm
Entry tags:
evasives: (80)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-12-28 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
Called? The fuck? Out? It really shouldn't surprise him, because Jyn was always like that. She always saw right through him. It's been years, they've been talking for maybe an hour at most, and she already does it again.

There are a lot of things he really should unpack when it comes to Sofia and her mom and literally everything, but he doesn't want to dump it all on Jyn immediately. Even if she is absolutely wonderful with Sofia, what the fuck? He knows his daughter is very easy to entertain, but Jyn is so easy with her that it kind of pinches at his heart.

"Maybe," he admits, biting back a sigh. He should not keep talking because it doesn't feel fair when they haven't spoken in years, but Jyn pokes and prods and she wouldn't if she wasn't trying to get him to spill something. "It isn't anyone's business what happened between me and her mother. She is not going to be involved. If I go out, what else is there to talk about besides my daughter?" Sofia is basically his life now. Is he using that as an excuse??? mAYBE!!!!! "I work, I sleep, I take care of her." He feels boring. "I don't need to open up. You of all people should not be telling me to."

He doesn't say it meanly, but it is definitely a counterattack on her own inability to be open.
evasives: (160)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-12-28 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
There's a pause. "I have watched so much Netflix." More than he ever thought he would, ever thought possible, but Sofia slept so much as a newborn, there wasn't much else to do!

He would rather just keep watching Jyn play with his daughter than talk, but at least it's Jyn, who always makes it easier to do that. "It's not that I do not want to see them, I suppose, even with a strange disconnect. I just feel like I should be with Sofia. I made the choice to take her."

Mutual agreement, but he'd wanted her, once he found out she was about to exist at any rate. But Jyn has a point in that good god does he miss having adult conversations, and he doesn't even like having conversations normally.

"This would be more effective if you did not ignore what I said too."

Yeah, don't think he didn't notice that avoidance, Jyn Erso.
evasives: (136)

[personal profile] evasives 2017-12-28 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?" And he likes it, so there.

He would argue he did not choose it over her, that financially it was his only option for more school, that he would have come back to her after it was all over, even stayed with her during. But it didn't work out that way.

And now he has Sofia. She wouldn't be here, if he and Jyn had stayed together.

"I just... don't want to put everything on you. Especially now."

They have not spoken in years! She only came back for a funeral! He doesn't even know how long she's going to be here, he doesn't want to get used to having her to talk to if she's going to disappear into Peru again.
evasives: (71)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-01-04 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
"I think I have already had a baby step." Dumb jokes, yay! But at least it's a joke, which isn't a sign he's about to close himself off again.

He laughs when Sofia's death grip knots into Jyn's hair, and he doesn't move at first. "I should just let you figure it out on your own. It takes a while."

Speaking from experience, hell yeah he is, and his hair isn't even that long. But he suppose she can help out, and he scooches forward close enough to tickle his daughter's side.

She giggles recklessly, unfortunately tightening her tiny hands instead of loosening them. "Miiiija," he taunts, and she laughs with her whole body like she recognizes the tone. Cassian leans in and kisses her little fingers, bringing his head very close to Jyn's oh no; he speaks very rapidly and happily in Spanish to her and her grip finally slackens enough for Jyn to pull her head away, even if the baby's limbs are flailing and smacking both of them in the process.

Sofia looks over at Cassian with complete and utter delight, and he ducks in again to smother her cheeks with several kisses, which she just laughs at all over again.
evasives: (18)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-01-10 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
He doesn't answer her right away, mostly because he is too busy playing with his daughter. He thinks Jyn would understand. She couldn't wait to scoop her up and do the same.

Sofia flails her arms up and rubs her little fingers against his stubble, because now apparently less than an hour later, she likes it. He pulls back, much to her baby dismay, but he was starting to feel like he was spending too much time in Jyn's space. He lets the baby latch on to his finger as compensation and she immediately shoves it in her mouth.

"I speak both to her. I was not hiding anything from you." Just going to ignore how sheepish he suddenly feels about being called adorable over it though.
evasives: (160)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-01-21 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
There is something in her tone that gives him pause, and his attention shifts very briefly from his daughter's face to Jyn's. There's nothing in her expression to suggest any kind of internal struggle, but he wonders if there is anyway.

Sofia is completely at ease being moved around, and she immediately flops flat onto her stomach to stretch her little limbs out over the soft rug. Cassian watches Jyn hurry up the stairs and decides his suspicions were correct, but he doesn't feel like it's his place to follow her, even though he wants to.

He scooches down onto his stomach instead, getting eye level with his daughter, and she lets out a delighted peal of laughter for it. He stays there, talking and playing with her while she excitedly explore the rug, but time passes and passes, and Jyn still doesn't come back down.

"Vamonos, conejito," he says, scooping her up in his arms. She smacks at his chest, but he tucks her in neatly. "I want to check on Jyn.

He climbs the stairs quietly, and Sofia tunes in to his mood, keeping her happy baby chatter at a mumble. It helps that she is distracted by going up, by the new sights. The door to Jyn's old room is open, so he peers inside.

She's there. She's sleeping. Rather unceremoniously, like she passed out, and he feels like he may have overstayed his welcome. Not in a bad way just - she's had a very long week. Of course she's tired. He thinks about going downstairs, leaving a note on her table with his phone number attached, but Sofia has other ideas. She sees Jyn and reaches out her little arm, babbling and pointing. Her attention shifts from Jyn as she looks into the room and she lets out an excited shriek upon noticing a three foot tall stuffed llama, making Cassian flinch.
Edited 2018-01-21 04:11 (UTC)
evasives: (94)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-01-21 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
He recognizes it as a swear, even if he doesn't know the exact translation. Jyn swears, that's just a fact of life.

"We did not mean to wake you," he offers in his own apology, even if Sofia is still staring wide-eyed at the llama. She reaches out to touch the fur and lets out a pleased noise, running her tiny fingers up and down.

It's named after Jyn's mom. Now does not seem like a good time to bring it up. He shakes off her sorry, she definitely doesn't owe him one. "If you need to sleep, we can always meet up again later, or another day."
evasives: (35)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-01-23 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
There's something dishonest in her tone, even if it's not terribly obvious. It makes him want to stay, despite what she tells him.

Sofia keeps petting the llama, babbling at it like she's trying to initiate a conversation. Even though it very clearly does not respond, she seems satisfied. He will have to take her home eventually, because he doesn't really have any food with him, but she's awake and alert and in a good mood.

"She is okay, for now," he starts, carefully. He hopes it didn't come across like he wanted to leave. "I would... still like to see you. You could come over for dinner, if you want?" It's half a question, leaving it slightly open ended in case she'd rather not, or if she has another idea? Maybe she just wants some time to regroup herself? He does have to get home, though he wouldn't mind if she tagged along. "You are still invited. I just don't want to overstep. You have had quite a week, I am sure."
evasives: (135)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-02-18 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
He's relieved when she agrees to dinner, nerves settling a little. This is fine, they can figure out how to interact again. "I can even cook, if you would help me entertain Sofia."

Sofia immediately reaches for the llama with delight, staring at its face like she can will it to life, all while she's babbling excitedly. Cassian, however, recognizes the tiny llama as a gift from Jyn's mother - she'd had it since they were kids - and he frowns thoughtfully. "You do not have to give her that, Jyn."
evasives: (64)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-02-18 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
She does not have as many toys as one might think, mostly because Cassian doesn't make a lot of money. There are lots of little adorable things he wants to buy, but he's very good at resisting.

"She can borrow it." There! A middle ground! He will absolutely shove it back into Jyn's closet when the baby tires of it, there's no stopping him.

Sofia cuddles the llama in close, then tucks her head against Cassian's chest with a mumble. It's so soft, she's so comfortable. He looks down at her and draws his finger gently over her cheek. "Say thank you, Sofia."

She bleats out a happy paaaa noise.
evasives: (171)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-02-19 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
The aforementioned Miss Andor makes another happy noise, softer though like she's more relaxed. The llama has calming qualities.

Maneuvering one arm without disturbing his daughter, he pulls his phone from his pocket and holds it out for her. "Put your number in? I can text you the address."

It's such a normal offer, but it also means... he'll have her number again. He could talk to her whenever he wanted, and he's rather fond of that idea.
evasives: (102)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-02-19 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
Sofia watches Jyn move around with just her eyes, and Cassian tries not to get distracted by the way her hand dips behind him.

He smiles when she teases him, albeit quietly. "I think I can find my way, if you want to transition into immediate nap." He ducks down and kisses Sofia's head. "Say goodbye for now, mija."

The baby just stares blankly, then yawns.
evasives: (87)

[personal profile] evasives 2018-02-19 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
Cassian puffs out a laugh, because of course she'd keep it caimán. He beams when she kisses Sofia, offering her another small smile. "See you later."

He almost doesn't want to leave, which is kind of stupid, so he just uses his suddenly sleepy daughter for motivation to slip from the room and slip downstairs, gathering his remaining things before he heads out the door.

He'll text her later.