Cassian is looking up trains home for the holidays when his phone rings. He does a double take when he sees it’s Marisol, and stares at it while it keeps ringing. They’ve been broken up for months now, amicably, and they’ve even sent a text back and forth once in a while to check in, but she hasn’t called him in ages.
He scrambles to answer before it goes to voicemail, because his gut is telling him this is important. “Bueno? Marisol? Is everything okay?”
She’s very quiet on the other end for longer than necessary, before finally breathing out, “Hi. Sorry. Is this a bad time?”
“Even if it was, I am going to be wondering what’s wrong until you tell me regardless.”
She laughs, but it sounds tired. “You can’t even see me and you still know. It’s important though. You’re going to want to meet up sometime, but that’s okay, we should.”
“You know I hate when you are cryptic.”
They broke up mutually. Cassian liked Marisol, but he didn’t love her, and she didn’t love him. They were casual together, a way to let out some steam while they both finished out their final semester in undergrad. A little more than friends with benefits, but never very serious because their lives were going to go in different directions and they both knew that. She was set for grad school. He was ready for the work force, military completely behind him now that school was done. He didn’t want to owe them anything else to keep going to school. She was his friend though, however little of them Cassian continued to have, and she always dragged things out just to annoy him.
“Cassian, I’m pregnant.”
Not this time. She manages to render him speechless. It feels like the air gets sucked out of the room. He looks at the calendar, like he needs to double check the fact that it’s December, because they broke up months ago. Before summer. She literally has no reason to tell him this, unless –
“It’s mine?”
“Yes,” she says faintly, almost ashamed.
He can hear her idly tapping a pen on the other end while reality crashes down around him. His brain immediately starts to think in overdrive, to give it any kind of logical explanation, but he shuts it down. There’s a reason she’s telling him so late. There has to be.
“I’m sorry,” she says about a minute later, voice even quieter. “You probably have a thousand questions. I can answer them. I owe you that much.”
“Are you still in the city?”
“I’m home right now, with parents.” She lets out another laugh, but this one sounds almost bitter. “I’m coming back after the holidays. I want to see you, if that’s all right.”
“I cannot possibly wait that long to talk about this, Marisol.”
“No, no, I wouldn’t – no. We can talk now. I had to at least tell you now before it got any later. She’s due in early February.”
Cassian can hear his own voice match that quiet. “It’s a girl?”
She pauses. “Yes. God, Cassian, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner – it’s a whole thing. It’s a mess. I should have told you. My parents didn’t want me to tell you, but she could theoretically come any minute now, and I just realized – it’s not fair. No matter what they said to me, it wouldn’t be fair.”
“Marisol, one thing at a time.” It’s firm. Not just for her own sake, but for his. He can put together some of the pieces, but he – he has a daughter on the way, he needs to know everything? He can barely wrap his head around the first part, he should tell her he’ll call her back in a little bit, but what good will it do? He’ll have all the same questions. Without any basis, it’ll just drive him crazier.
“I found out in June. I wasn’t even – I didn’t want to keep it,” she says in that same faint, almost ashamed voice. “I wanted to go to school. I never wanted to be a mother. But my parents convinced me to carry it through and said I could give it up for adoption. It was really persuasive.”
He’s never met her parents, but from everything she’s ever told him about them, he isn’t surprised. They’re older, affluent, children of wealthy immigrants who fled Cuba before Castro took over. Old school and religiously conservative.
“They told me if I wasn’t going to keep it, there was no point in even telling you. So I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
Cassian lost his parents very young, but he always had his grandmother. He can’t imagine her trying to keep that level of control over something that big, no matter how much the Andors like being able to control the situation to their best abilities. Abuelita is always on his side in a very different way Marisol’s parents support her. He knew long ago he was not the sort of person they’d approve of, no wonder they wouldn’t want him to know. He’d always hoped Marisol would be able to fully get out from under their thumb.
“Why are you telling me now?” She’s got barely two months left. All summer, all fall, she’d been pregnant with his child and he had no idea. He wouldn’t know, if she hadn’t made the decision to call him. It’s making him dizzy.
“It was wrong not to tell you. I should have done that first, before I even told my parents. But I panicked. I thought I was just going to… get rid of it.”
“That still does not answer my question.”
She’s quiet for a few moments. “I’m not keeping her. I can’t. Maybe that makes me terrible, but I can’t do it. I never wanted this.”
He hesitates. “Do you… want me to?”
“No! That’s not it either. It just… wasn’t fair, for you not to know. I would never drop this on you with the expectation you’ll just take her off my hands, but – she’s yours too. And if you do want her… it wasn’t fair of me to try and keep that choice away from you. My parents are going to be so mad, when they realize I’ve told you.”
If you do want her.
Deep down, he already knows what the answer is.
“I want to see you, when you get back to town. Please.”
“Of course, Cassian.” She pauses, sounding awkward even before she speaks up again. “I have another doctor’s appointment after the new year, if you want to come.”
“I… I don’t know. Maybe. I cannot possibly figure that out right now.”
“Sorry, I know. I’m going to be saying infinite sorries, so don’t tell me to stop.”
He’s very rarely at a loss for words, but that’s the second time since he answered the phone that they fail him. Marisol is pregnant. He did it. He pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut, but she seems to sense his need for silence and gives it. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, and it’s not like his thought process gets any more cohesive.
They talk idly a little more, before Marisol’s parents beckon and she promises to call back, to plan for a meet up after the holidays. They’re only going to Aruba this year, on account of her being over seven months pregnant, and he remembers he hates rich people.
He tells Abuelita when he goes home for Christmas, expecting chastisement. Instead she just hugs him and Cassian lets himself be held. One week after the holidays, he and Marisol meet up for coffee, and he tells her he wants to keep the baby.
His parents died when he was a child, and he can’t seem to bear the thought of this little girl out there, knowing someone had given her up. He doesn’t tell Marisol that. She offers him a small, sad smile, and only says, “I thought you might,” before they dive into logistics. Turns out their break up isn’t going to keep them completely apart in life anyway.
Less than a month later, Marisol gives birth to a healthy daughter. She comes one week early at the end of January, which his grandmother tells him is very normal of all the Andor women. Cassian names her Sofia Carina Andor, despite abuelita tsking about a lack of her mother’s name. He exchanges only a handful of words with Marisol’s parents, who seem to be there more for legal and financial reasons and regard him with suspicion the whole time. Abuelita definitely look ready to throw her shoe at them, but fortunately they are both distracted by the tiny newborn baby. His grandmother falls in love immediately, and Cassian knows he’s not going to stay here in the city. He cradles Sofia in his arms and has never been more in love with a person. In barely two months, Cassian’s entire life has flipped upside down.
He is granted full custody exactly one week and three days after she comes home from the hospital with him, and he nearly falls asleep on the drive over to the courthouse, grateful for Kay playing chauffeur, as well as playing at a great number of other things. His friend reminds him over and over that he should really tell some of his other friends sometime soon, but Cassian just keeps insisting he’ll do it another time, not now.
Three months later, he moves back home with a rental car full of baby things, with Kay right behind him in another car full of both their things. No one but his grandmother knows he’s even coming. It’s a long drive made longer by all the baby pitstops. Cassian Andor comes home over ten years after he left, only now he comes packaged in with a mini me.
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ohnofeelstho2017-11-27 11:07 pm
it's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing.
He scrambles to answer before it goes to voicemail, because his gut is telling him this is important. “Bueno? Marisol? Is everything okay?”
She’s very quiet on the other end for longer than necessary, before finally breathing out, “Hi. Sorry. Is this a bad time?”
“Even if it was, I am going to be wondering what’s wrong until you tell me regardless.”
She laughs, but it sounds tired. “You can’t even see me and you still know. It’s important though. You’re going to want to meet up sometime, but that’s okay, we should.”
“You know I hate when you are cryptic.”
They broke up mutually. Cassian liked Marisol, but he didn’t love her, and she didn’t love him. They were casual together, a way to let out some steam while they both finished out their final semester in undergrad. A little more than friends with benefits, but never very serious because their lives were going to go in different directions and they both knew that. She was set for grad school. He was ready for the work force, military completely behind him now that school was done. He didn’t want to owe them anything else to keep going to school. She was his friend though, however little of them Cassian continued to have, and she always dragged things out just to annoy him.
“Cassian, I’m pregnant.”
Not this time. She manages to render him speechless. It feels like the air gets sucked out of the room. He looks at the calendar, like he needs to double check the fact that it’s December, because they broke up months ago. Before summer. She literally has no reason to tell him this, unless –
“It’s mine?”
“Yes,” she says faintly, almost ashamed.
He can hear her idly tapping a pen on the other end while reality crashes down around him. His brain immediately starts to think in overdrive, to give it any kind of logical explanation, but he shuts it down. There’s a reason she’s telling him so late. There has to be.
“I’m sorry,” she says about a minute later, voice even quieter. “You probably have a thousand questions. I can answer them. I owe you that much.”
“Are you still in the city?”
“I’m home right now, with parents.” She lets out another laugh, but this one sounds almost bitter. “I’m coming back after the holidays. I want to see you, if that’s all right.”
“I cannot possibly wait that long to talk about this, Marisol.”
“No, no, I wouldn’t – no. We can talk now. I had to at least tell you now before it got any later. She’s due in early February.”
Cassian can hear his own voice match that quiet. “It’s a girl?”
She pauses. “Yes. God, Cassian, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner – it’s a whole thing. It’s a mess. I should have told you. My parents didn’t want me to tell you, but she could theoretically come any minute now, and I just realized – it’s not fair. No matter what they said to me, it wouldn’t be fair.”
“Marisol, one thing at a time.” It’s firm. Not just for her own sake, but for his. He can put together some of the pieces, but he – he has a daughter on the way, he needs to know everything? He can barely wrap his head around the first part, he should tell her he’ll call her back in a little bit, but what good will it do? He’ll have all the same questions. Without any basis, it’ll just drive him crazier.
“I found out in June. I wasn’t even – I didn’t want to keep it,” she says in that same faint, almost ashamed voice. “I wanted to go to school. I never wanted to be a mother. But my parents convinced me to carry it through and said I could give it up for adoption. It was really persuasive.”
He’s never met her parents, but from everything she’s ever told him about them, he isn’t surprised. They’re older, affluent, children of wealthy immigrants who fled Cuba before Castro took over. Old school and religiously conservative.
“They told me if I wasn’t going to keep it, there was no point in even telling you. So I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
Cassian lost his parents very young, but he always had his grandmother. He can’t imagine her trying to keep that level of control over something that big, no matter how much the Andors like being able to control the situation to their best abilities. Abuelita is always on his side in a very different way Marisol’s parents support her. He knew long ago he was not the sort of person they’d approve of, no wonder they wouldn’t want him to know. He’d always hoped Marisol would be able to fully get out from under their thumb.
“Why are you telling me now?” She’s got barely two months left. All summer, all fall, she’d been pregnant with his child and he had no idea. He wouldn’t know, if she hadn’t made the decision to call him. It’s making him dizzy.
“It was wrong not to tell you. I should have done that first, before I even told my parents. But I panicked. I thought I was just going to… get rid of it.”
“That still does not answer my question.”
She’s quiet for a few moments. “I’m not keeping her. I can’t. Maybe that makes me terrible, but I can’t do it. I never wanted this.”
He hesitates. “Do you… want me to?”
“No! That’s not it either. It just… wasn’t fair, for you not to know. I would never drop this on you with the expectation you’ll just take her off my hands, but – she’s yours too. And if you do want her… it wasn’t fair of me to try and keep that choice away from you. My parents are going to be so mad, when they realize I’ve told you.”
If you do want her.
Deep down, he already knows what the answer is.
“I want to see you, when you get back to town. Please.”
“Of course, Cassian.” She pauses, sounding awkward even before she speaks up again. “I have another doctor’s appointment after the new year, if you want to come.”
“I… I don’t know. Maybe. I cannot possibly figure that out right now.”
“Sorry, I know. I’m going to be saying infinite sorries, so don’t tell me to stop.”
He’s very rarely at a loss for words, but that’s the second time since he answered the phone that they fail him. Marisol is pregnant. He did it. He pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut, but she seems to sense his need for silence and gives it. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, and it’s not like his thought process gets any more cohesive.
They talk idly a little more, before Marisol’s parents beckon and she promises to call back, to plan for a meet up after the holidays. They’re only going to Aruba this year, on account of her being over seven months pregnant, and he remembers he hates rich people.
He tells Abuelita when he goes home for Christmas, expecting chastisement. Instead she just hugs him and Cassian lets himself be held. One week after the holidays, he and Marisol meet up for coffee, and he tells her he wants to keep the baby.
His parents died when he was a child, and he can’t seem to bear the thought of this little girl out there, knowing someone had given her up. He doesn’t tell Marisol that. She offers him a small, sad smile, and only says, “I thought you might,” before they dive into logistics. Turns out their break up isn’t going to keep them completely apart in life anyway.
Less than a month later, Marisol gives birth to a healthy daughter. She comes one week early at the end of January, which his grandmother tells him is very normal of all the Andor women. Cassian names her Sofia Carina Andor, despite abuelita tsking about a lack of her mother’s name. He exchanges only a handful of words with Marisol’s parents, who seem to be there more for legal and financial reasons and regard him with suspicion the whole time. Abuelita definitely look ready to throw her shoe at them, but fortunately they are both distracted by the tiny newborn baby. His grandmother falls in love immediately, and Cassian knows he’s not going to stay here in the city. He cradles Sofia in his arms and has never been more in love with a person. In barely two months, Cassian’s entire life has flipped upside down.
He is granted full custody exactly one week and three days after she comes home from the hospital with him, and he nearly falls asleep on the drive over to the courthouse, grateful for Kay playing chauffeur, as well as playing at a great number of other things. His friend reminds him over and over that he should really tell some of his other friends sometime soon, but Cassian just keeps insisting he’ll do it another time, not now.
Three months later, he moves back home with a rental car full of baby things, with Kay right behind him in another car full of both their things. No one but his grandmother knows he’s even coming. It’s a long drive made longer by all the baby pitstops. Cassian Andor comes home over ten years after he left, only now he comes packaged in with a mini me.
Surprise.