He is. He is worth all the travel and extra paperwork and jet lag and visits to customs. Coming home to Cassian and Sofia is worth all of that and more. He is her home, again, and coming home finally feels like something she wants to do. Coming home finally means having something to come home to.
Something warm bubbles in his chest. You're worth it. He hopes so. He hopes all of this is worth it, because he knows nothing about this is easy. They found their way back to each other after a decade, he wants it to be worthwhile. For the long term, this time.
"I can take your suitcase if you will wrangle up the little whale."
Aforementioned little whale is still enamored by the llama, but she's also struggling to pull the bra out from underneath her because apparently it's the perfect hat for a llama. She tucks the cup right on its head and trills happily.
"Deal." Jyn moves forward to scoop Sofia up, llama and bra included. "Well, what do we have here? Un sombrero para llama? He looks very handsome, I think you made the right choice."
Jyn doesn't care about Sofia playing with her bra, honestly. It's maybe a little UM out on the porch for the world to see -- or the rest of the street, though there is loads of space between her house and the ones on adjoining sides, and she does hang them on the line to dry... did she just talk herself out of caring if anyone saw Cassian's daughter playing with her bra? Cool.
With Sofia babbling in her ear about her new llama in cheerful baby talk, Jyn strides back into her house, sweeping through like, well, like she owns the place. Once inside she plops the baby down on the ridiculously soft rug, sinking down to lay next to her and give the other side of the bra a little tug. "And what is this side for?"
Sofia babbles idly as Jyn carries her inside, uncaring about propriety, it means nothing! She is very delighted to be back on the rug, even more so because Jyn is there with her. When her mama tugs on the free side of the bra, she giggles and pulls it on top of her own head. Because duh, it's simply a two side hat, meant to be shared! Now she matches with her new friend.
Cassian carries Jyn's bags inside, leaving them just beside the door. They'll take care of it later, right now he just wants to be with girlfriend and daughter. There's plenty of time to unpack, but Sofia with a bra on her head is Peak Homecoming. "What an interesting hat you have there, conejito."
"Hat!" she repeats, arm wrapped tight around the llama.
Cassian sits down on the rug, leaning over to press a kiss atop Jyn's head. "I can't decide if it looks better on her or you."
"Hopefully me but purple is a very flattering color on her."
Stretching out, she pokes the llama's belly, smoothing down some of his fluffy fur. "He's made from the wool of an alpaca, a llama made from a llama, and his name is Tupac Amaru the third, named after the leader of the 1780 Indigenous peoples uprising. Se llama Amaru, Sofia. Do you like his name?"
Maybe they can call him Tupac, but Sofia cheerfully shouts "AMROO" which is close enough so Jyn thinks she might support the name.
As she draws her hand back, she reaches out to touch the little felted dolls she had sent for Valentine's Day, running her fingers over the little family tucked safely under the blanket. She'd sent along another doll for Easter, at Abuelita's prompting, and it makes her heart warm to see the doll equivalent of Sofia tucked between the Cassian doll and Jyn doll in their little bed.
"You both pull it off in very different ways," he grins.
Amroo it is!
Sofia is very preoccupied with her llama and new hat, idly glancing over at Jyn when she touches the dolls, but she seems to trust Jyn with her toys enough to just continue babbling at dear Amroo.
"I was thinking about getting her one for Christmas. I know it is a long ways away, but she manages to do a lot with them right now without a house. The rug is their house - or it could be a pool, sometimes it looks like she makes them swim with her whales." A beat. "She loves those dolls. They are her favorites."
"We could build one, to match this house." Because why buy it when they could build it from scratch. They have tools in the shed and in the basement, she is sure they can get wood somewhere for cheap. The shed is also full of old paint from the house so it could even fully match inside as well.
Carefully, Jyn frees the dolls from their little bed, drawing them into her lap and smoothing back doll Sofia's felted hair.
She sighs happily, leaning over with the dolls in her lap to grab Sofia's face and kiss her cheeks. "I love you Sofia Carina Inez Andor."
He grins a little bit. "I suppose by the time we are finished, it would likely be Christmas." They're both busy on and off, it can be an ongoing project.
He likes the idea though - working together with Jyn to create a house for Sofia to play with for years to come. There is something permanent about it that he doesn't want to put a name to.
The real Sofia puffs out her cheeks when Jyn kisses her, scrunching up her nose with a little laugh, then holding up the llama. "Amroo."
Jyn offers Tupac Amaru III a perfunctory kiss on the head, not nearly as much enthusiasm as was bestowed upon Sofia herself. "Love you too, Amroo."
Her head tilts to look up at Cassian, watching the smile on his face as he watches his daughter exist. She'd spent most of her youth in love with him, delighting in being loved in return, enough that she knows the feeling intimately. It was easy back then, emboldened by the immortality of youth and her own natural inclination to recklessness.
She knows the feeling still because it's still there, or is there again. She doesn't know, maybe it was a volcano lying dormant and now it's active again. Maybe you don't ever stop loving your first love.
Life and age have stoked some fear in her -- abandonment, which he had never; loneliness, which she never feels with him -- that tempers a fair share of the reckless abandon of her youth. But not enough to keep it from slipping out as she looks at him.
Satisfied with the smooch to her llama, Sofia goes back to playing with him. She's chattering away, presumably giving him some kind of backstory, before she makes him hop up and down over the rug. It's an interesting process, given their heads are still connected by Jyn's bra.
Cassian is about to pull out his phone to record a video this time, when he freezes in place, gaze lifting from daughter to Jyn. His mouth opens in a tiny 'o' of surprise.
It's not just in her words, it's in the way she's looking at him. He recognizes it from years gone by, but it's more now. Finding her again despite everything, the ease they fell back into - he wants to run with those feelings all over again with her.
"I love you too," he says, surprised at how easily it falls from him. Maybe he never stopped. He reaches for her hand and tugs her closer, enough that he can lean in and steal a kiss, carrying on the tradition that evidently comes with declaration of love.
He loves Jyn. It feels good to be honest about it again too.
"I'm really glad you said that because for a second I was so so scared that you wouldn't and then I'd have to move to the Sun." She'd already run away to Peru, the next time she'd have to take drastic steps and Mars just didn't seem drastic enough.
The inside of the sun would be the only place to run.
He laughs, even though he doesn't mean to. Jyn was always very good at escalation. Sofia looks up at the sound of it simply because she is always fascinated by her father's laughter. It doesn't take her long to go back to the llama though.
Cassian has not let go of Jyn's hand, and he squeezes it. "That is not a trick, right? Because you have not technically said it at all for me to have to say it twice." A beat. "But I still love you."
Jyn leans forward to kiss him again, glad that Sofia rarely seems to mind her Papa being distracted by kissing. Even when she is bothered it's only because she wants the same attention herself and who would be silly enough to deny Sofia all the kisses in the world?
Maybe one day Sofia won't want to share her Papa with Jyn but right now she doesn't care.
"I love you, I love you, I love you," Jyn murmurs, punctuating each declaration with her own kiss. "Now I'm in the lead."
He is into every kiss she wants to give him, smiling against her mouth in each little confession. He's grateful Sofia doesn't seem to care, only ever seems to want some too, and Jyn is always more than happy to drown the baby in affection. Everything just feels so normal together, and he continues to marvel at it.
Jyn loves him. She said it for real now! He feels giddy, like a teenager all over again, only this time it seems... more, somehow.
Three times! How dare she start winning. "Not for long," he says, still beaming. This competition is going to last forever, probably. "Te amo, te amo, te amo."
Now he's winning, five to three.
Sofia, however, might beat them all. "Te amo te amo te amo te amo." She has turned it into an almost solemn vow, and the lucky recipient is naturally the llama. At least until she paps her father's leg and utters one more very flat, "te amoo."
In her baby defense, he does say it to her very often. She repeats it a lot.
"I think we'll have to give the win to Sofia, she had the most gravitas." And that way Cassian doesn't get to win.
It makes her a little sad that only Cassian's admissions were directed at her but that's stupid! Sofia is a baby and she directed most of her love at a llama that Jyn brought her, it's not like she purposely left Jyn out out of some kind of baby malice.
It's fine, Jyn is simply jealous of a llama.
"This is the best welcome home I've ever had," Jyn admits, trailing off into a huge yawn. The time difference isn't that much (Peru is an hour behind) but the travel is a lot and she's honestly beat but she doesn't want to leave her two favorite people.
Sofia is all about that llama. She loves her papa, and she loves Jyn too, but right now there's a fucking llama! Which she drags along to walk across Jyn's leg, less she feel left out. "You are the winner today, mija."
"Llama."
Cassian, however, does not miss Jyn's yawn. "You can take a nap if you want. I promise the bedroom is much cleaner than down here. The welcome home can continue with dinner later too."
It's the one room Sofia doesn't spend a lot of time in, except for sleeping. She has her own room, but it doesn't stop Cassian from taking her into bed with him on occasion.
"No, I've already missed so much, I don't want to miss any more."
Even if it is just Sofia walking her llama across Jyn's leg while still wearing her bra as a hat. That is enough to keep Jyn exactly where she is, exactly where she wants to be.
Although.
She tiptoes her fingers up Cassian's chest, tired smile turning flirtatious. Tired but flirtatious. "Do you think Abuelita can babysit her tomorrow night?"
Why does she do that to his poor heart?? The flutter in his chest when she says she doesn't want to miss more, that she's giving up a nap to just keep lounging with him and Sofia.
He grabs her hand when she teases it at his chest, bringing her fingers up to plant a kiss on her knuckles. "Honestly, I think she has probably already been expecting me to ask within a few days of your return. She will not mind."
His grandmother never minds. She's been obsessed with Sofia since day one, which seems to be an ongoing theme with everyone who meets her.
Still, if Jyn can be flirty, so can he! He already knows exactly where this is going. "Did you have something particular in mind? I am very open to suggestions."
"We're gonna make out so much," Jyn tells him, grinning, before she shifts to lay down again on the fluffy rug she loves so much, resting her head on Cassian's thigh. He makes a very good pillow and she missed that too. She missed everything, but she didn't know how much she would miss simply being with someone. They aren't doing anything of note, hanging out on a rug, but it's perfect.
Sofia keeps babbling to herself, no doubt having deep philosophical discussion with her llama, content it seems to entertain herself, but when Jyn lays down she pauses. She looks at her llama and tucks him and the bra hat under her arm, toddling over to the basket of blankets to shove her chubby hands in and pull out one of the bottom blankets because of some incomprehensible toddler logic.
She drags it back over to Cassian and Jyn, trailing half the other blankets behind her once the basket tips over, and gingerly tries to put it on Jyn without letting go of her llama at all. Luckily Jyn helps her along and she figures Cassian will do the rest.
The open admission has him grinning, ducking his head because the sheer affection he has for Jyn is simply too much in this moment!! They're gonna make out, so much. He runs his fingers through her hair when she settles on his leg, beaming down at her. "There is no reason we cannot do a little of that later too but. Tomorrow will be better. For the so much part, obviously."
As soon as Cassian picks up on what his daughter is doing with the blanket, he helps her along without making it seem like he's helping, wanting to instill in her tiny baby self a sense of independence.
Sofia stands up and looks very pleased with her work, giggling as her you're welcome. She's still working on saying it: de nada is easier, if garbled whenever she tries. Her other response now however is to duck over and plant an open mouthed (but fortunately not slobbery) smooch on Jyn's forehead, though it winds up closer to her eyebrow in Sofia's attempts to multitask and not drop her llama.
"Oh yes, I'm very tired. Dulces sueños. Te amo, te amo." Jyn closes her eyes, pretending to sleep, but honestly laying down and closing her eyes... makes her want to sleep a little bit. Maybe this was a bad idea.
No, no. There is a toddler in the room, she won't be able to actually fall asleep.
"God, I missed this so much." Her eyes are still closes, she's still snuggled beneath the blanket, but the words are breathed out like she has come to some dramatic revelation. She knows she misses this, half her text messages to Cassian are about how much she misses this, but it doesn't stop her from saying it again.
Content that Jyn has been successfully tucked in, Sofia backs up a few steps, then flops over, her attention back on her llama - though she's still close enough that she periodically peeks up to look at Jyn on the floor. She is clearly going to tell her llama all about Jyn, but she keeps her voice hushed, not wanting to wake her up!
"I know," Cassian says softly, brushing his fingers through the top of her hair. It's different having her here versus texting and talking about it daily. It's such a relief to sit beside her and feel exactly the same as when she left. "We are very happy to have you back home. I missed you a lot too, Jyn. But you have had a long traveling day, if you really want to take a nap until dinner. I am going to make your favorite."
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ohnofeelstho2017-11-27 11:07 pm
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He is. He is worth all the travel and extra paperwork and jet lag and visits to customs. Coming home to Cassian and Sofia is worth all of that and more. He is her home, again, and coming home finally feels like something she wants to do. Coming home finally means having something to come home to.
"Come on, let's get her and my junk inside."
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"I can take your suitcase if you will wrangle up the little whale."
Aforementioned little whale is still enamored by the llama, but she's also struggling to pull the bra out from underneath her because apparently it's the perfect hat for a llama. She tucks the cup right on its head and trills happily.
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Jyn doesn't care about Sofia playing with her bra, honestly. It's maybe a little UM out on the porch for the world to see -- or the rest of the street, though there is loads of space between her house and the ones on adjoining sides, and she does hang them on the line to dry... did she just talk herself out of caring if anyone saw Cassian's daughter playing with her bra? Cool.
With Sofia babbling in her ear about her new llama in cheerful baby talk, Jyn strides back into her house, sweeping through like, well, like she owns the place. Once inside she plops the baby down on the ridiculously soft rug, sinking down to lay next to her and give the other side of the bra a little tug. "And what is this side for?"
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Cassian carries Jyn's bags inside, leaving them just beside the door. They'll take care of it later, right now he just wants to be with girlfriend and daughter. There's plenty of time to unpack, but Sofia with a bra on her head is Peak Homecoming. "What an interesting hat you have there, conejito."
"Hat!" she repeats, arm wrapped tight around the llama.
Cassian sits down on the rug, leaning over to press a kiss atop Jyn's head. "I can't decide if it looks better on her or you."
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Stretching out, she pokes the llama's belly, smoothing down some of his fluffy fur. "He's made from the wool of an alpaca, a llama made from a llama, and his name is Tupac Amaru the third, named after the leader of the 1780 Indigenous peoples uprising. Se llama Amaru, Sofia. Do you like his name?"
Maybe they can call him Tupac, but Sofia cheerfully shouts "AMROO" which is close enough so Jyn thinks she might support the name.
As she draws her hand back, she reaches out to touch the little felted dolls she had sent for Valentine's Day, running her fingers over the little family tucked safely under the blanket. She'd sent along another doll for Easter, at Abuelita's prompting, and it makes her heart warm to see the doll equivalent of Sofia tucked between the Cassian doll and Jyn doll in their little bed.
"She needs a dollhouse."
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Amroo it is!
Sofia is very preoccupied with her llama and new hat, idly glancing over at Jyn when she touches the dolls, but she seems to trust Jyn with her toys enough to just continue babbling at dear Amroo.
"I was thinking about getting her one for Christmas. I know it is a long ways away, but she manages to do a lot with them right now without a house. The rug is their house - or it could be a pool, sometimes it looks like she makes them swim with her whales." A beat. "She loves those dolls. They are her favorites."
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Carefully, Jyn frees the dolls from their little bed, drawing them into her lap and smoothing back doll Sofia's felted hair.
She sighs happily, leaning over with the dolls in her lap to grab Sofia's face and kiss her cheeks. "I love you Sofia Carina Inez Andor."
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He likes the idea though - working together with Jyn to create a house for Sofia to play with for years to come. There is something permanent about it that he doesn't want to put a name to.
The real Sofia puffs out her cheeks when Jyn kisses her, scrunching up her nose with a little laugh, then holding up the llama. "Amroo."
Where is her llama's kiss??
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Her head tilts to look up at Cassian, watching the smile on his face as he watches his daughter exist. She'd spent most of her youth in love with him, delighting in being loved in return, enough that she knows the feeling intimately. It was easy back then, emboldened by the immortality of youth and her own natural inclination to recklessness.
She knows the feeling still because it's still there, or is there again. She doesn't know, maybe it was a volcano lying dormant and now it's active again. Maybe you don't ever stop loving your first love.
Life and age have stoked some fear in her -- abandonment, which he had never; loneliness, which she never feels with him -- that tempers a fair share of the reckless abandon of her youth. But not enough to keep it from slipping out as she looks at him.
"And you."
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Cassian is about to pull out his phone to record a video this time, when he freezes in place, gaze lifting from daughter to Jyn. His mouth opens in a tiny 'o' of surprise.
It's not just in her words, it's in the way she's looking at him. He recognizes it from years gone by, but it's more now. Finding her again despite everything, the ease they fell back into - he wants to run with those feelings all over again with her.
"I love you too," he says, surprised at how easily it falls from him. Maybe he never stopped. He reaches for her hand and tugs her closer, enough that he can lean in and steal a kiss, carrying on the tradition that evidently comes with declaration of love.
He loves Jyn. It feels good to be honest about it again too.
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"I'm really glad you said that because for a second I was so so scared that you wouldn't and then I'd have to move to the Sun." She'd already run away to Peru, the next time she'd have to take drastic steps and Mars just didn't seem drastic enough.
The inside of the sun would be the only place to run.
"Say it again."
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Cassian has not let go of Jyn's hand, and he squeezes it. "That is not a trick, right? Because you have not technically said it at all for me to have to say it twice." A beat. "But I still love you."
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Oh, she hasn't.
Jyn leans forward to kiss him again, glad that Sofia rarely seems to mind her Papa being distracted by kissing. Even when she is bothered it's only because she wants the same attention herself and who would be silly enough to deny Sofia all the kisses in the world?
Maybe one day Sofia won't want to share her Papa with Jyn but right now she doesn't care.
"I love you, I love you, I love you," Jyn murmurs, punctuating each declaration with her own kiss. "Now I'm in the lead."
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Jyn loves him. She said it for real now! He feels giddy, like a teenager all over again, only this time it seems... more, somehow.
Three times! How dare she start winning. "Not for long," he says, still beaming. This competition is going to last forever, probably. "Te amo, te amo, te amo."
Now he's winning, five to three.
Sofia, however, might beat them all. "Te amo te amo te amo te amo." She has turned it into an almost solemn vow, and the lucky recipient is naturally the llama. At least until she paps her father's leg and utters one more very flat, "te amoo."
In her baby defense, he does say it to her very often. She repeats it a lot.
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It makes her a little sad that only Cassian's admissions were directed at her but that's stupid! Sofia is a baby and she directed most of her love at a llama that Jyn brought her, it's not like she purposely left Jyn out out of some kind of baby malice.
It's fine, Jyn is simply jealous of a llama.
"This is the best welcome home I've ever had," Jyn admits, trailing off into a huge yawn. The time difference isn't that much (Peru is an hour behind) but the travel is a lot and she's honestly beat but she doesn't want to leave her two favorite people.
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"Llama."
Cassian, however, does not miss Jyn's yawn. "You can take a nap if you want. I promise the bedroom is much cleaner than down here. The welcome home can continue with dinner later too."
It's the one room Sofia doesn't spend a lot of time in, except for sleeping. She has her own room, but it doesn't stop Cassian from taking her into bed with him on occasion.
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Even if it is just Sofia walking her llama across Jyn's leg while still wearing her bra as a hat. That is enough to keep Jyn exactly where she is, exactly where she wants to be.
Although.
She tiptoes her fingers up Cassian's chest, tired smile turning flirtatious. Tired but flirtatious. "Do you think Abuelita can babysit her tomorrow night?"
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He grabs her hand when she teases it at his chest, bringing her fingers up to plant a kiss on her knuckles. "Honestly, I think she has probably already been expecting me to ask within a few days of your return. She will not mind."
His grandmother never minds. She's been obsessed with Sofia since day one, which seems to be an ongoing theme with everyone who meets her.
Still, if Jyn can be flirty, so can he! He already knows exactly where this is going. "Did you have something particular in mind? I am very open to suggestions."
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Sofia keeps babbling to herself, no doubt having deep philosophical discussion with her llama, content it seems to entertain herself, but when Jyn lays down she pauses. She looks at her llama and tucks him and the bra hat under her arm, toddling over to the basket of blankets to shove her chubby hands in and pull out one of the bottom blankets because of some incomprehensible toddler logic.
She drags it back over to Cassian and Jyn, trailing half the other blankets behind her once the basket tips over, and gingerly tries to put it on Jyn without letting go of her llama at all. Luckily Jyn helps her along and she figures Cassian will do the rest.
"Oh, thank you, mija. I'm very tired."
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As soon as Cassian picks up on what his daughter is doing with the blanket, he helps her along without making it seem like he's helping, wanting to instill in her tiny baby self a sense of independence.
Sofia stands up and looks very pleased with her work, giggling as her you're welcome. She's still working on saying it: de nada is easier, if garbled whenever she tries. Her other response now however is to duck over and plant an open mouthed (but fortunately not slobbery) smooch on Jyn's forehead, though it winds up closer to her eyebrow in Sofia's attempts to multitask and not drop her llama.
"Nap! Nap! Te amo."
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No, no. There is a toddler in the room, she won't be able to actually fall asleep.
"God, I missed this so much." Her eyes are still closes, she's still snuggled beneath the blanket, but the words are breathed out like she has come to some dramatic revelation. She knows she misses this, half her text messages to Cassian are about how much she misses this, but it doesn't stop her from saying it again.
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"I know," Cassian says softly, brushing his fingers through the top of her hair. It's different having her here versus texting and talking about it daily. It's such a relief to sit beside her and feel exactly the same as when she left. "We are very happy to have you back home. I missed you a lot too, Jyn. But you have had a long traveling day, if you really want to take a nap until dinner. I am going to make your favorite."