Their anniversary is a surprising achievement, especially for Jyn. She hasn't stayed in the same place for over a year since she was with Saw as a teenager. It's different, of course, being on Fest where she is a princess and married and has duties, but she's grown to love Fest and the people seem to like her too, which was a nice surprise since she still awkwardly stumbles through the language and is still building up the ability to take anything more than mild spices.
But she's trying.
And it was nice to see Cassian's... well, foster parents, she supposes. She loves arguing politics with Bail over breakfast and she even likes Breha mothering her and her hair has been expertly braided every since the Organa queen had come to visit. She does also, admittedly, like that the guest wing is on the opposite side of the castle as to her and Cassian's rooms. She enjoys the guests, but she still likes her privacy.
"I'm likable," Jyn replies immediately, albeit distractedly as she continues to read without looking up or really paying much attention to Cassian at all. "She liked everyone that held her. Especially Bodhi."
He breaks into a tiny grin when she says she's likable, because Jyn is very gruff and very anti-social, but somehow keeps the capacity to win people over. She won him over. She's barely paying attention to him, but she's not wrong.
"She liked some more than others. You and Bodhi were probably her favorites." Also not wrong. Whether it was because the two of them actually seemed invested in the baby more than most or otherwise doesn't matter. She liked the baby, fact. Now he just needs to... get more of her attention without making it seem obvious.
"I think she may have been your favorite guest as well." Teasing? A little bit. He knows she hates most people, it's a pretty normal jest to make.
"Don't say that, Bail will be so disappointed that he's not my favorite." Jyn finally glances up with a small smile, reaching out to shove him, hand pressed flat against his chest. Maybe talking about Bail in bed is weird, but it's not the weirdest thing they've talked about, honestly.
She sets the book in her lap, keeping the page marked with her thumb, before giving him A Look.
"You're interrupting a very good passage, Captain. It's very engrossing." And he is pulling her out of her engrossed state by chattering about a rogue baby in the castle being more charming than most adults.
"As long as he is always Breha and Leia's favorite, I think he will be fine."
She shoves him, which he takes as a success! It doesn't budge him much, but now she's touching him more, which is like an extra success. His grin slants more when she accuses him of interruption with that look on her face that really shouldn't appeal to him, and yet. "If it was that engrossing, you would have ignored me entirely." He settles his hand over hers on his chest, just because. "Dare I ask?"
"You probably shouldn't," Jyn admits, ruthless smile fluttering across her expression as she opens the book and begins to read. Hopefully none of their guests will have ventured this far into their secluded wing to say goodnight.
"He brushed his lips against her breasts, her neck, her belly. It took her a moment to realize that he was tracing the path of the freckles on her skin, and trying to kiss every one of them. She would have laughed if her quick, ragged breath had allowed her to.
'I’ve wondered about this for so long.' He smiled before bending his head again, his tongue lapping at all the little coppery spots on her body like a cat eating up spilled cream. He worked his way downward. Marie-Laure had just a few freckles near her belly and thighs, but he paid special attention to each one, his silky hair flowing against her skin in the wake of his lingering, inquisitive kisses.
He moved upward now, his lips traveling to her breast again, his rough cat’s tongue flicking the nipple. She could see his wide, naked shoulders above her; she arched her back to try to touch the length of his trunk, the heaviness of his sex, with her trembling belly. She felt a stab of longing between her legs, just before (but how had he known to do it just exactly then?) he parted her thighs with his hand, opening and exploring her, caressing her with small, patient, delicate strokes."
As soon as he realizes what she's doing, what she's reading, her lets out a puff of a laugh, then ducks his head into her shoulder to hide the rest of his amusement. It makes him want to map all her freckles with his mouth which is the opposite of what he wanted out of interrupting her.
Instead, "Trunk?"
Cassian has a lot of books in his libraries. It doesn't mean he's read all of them, especially in basic. "Are you trying to tell me something, Jyn, or should I just be glad to have managed to pull you away from this?"
"You should be glad, at the very least." It was a very interesting book and she'd only just gotten to the good part after trudging through a dozen or so lead up chapters with absolutely zero sex at all. It's too bad the book was full of political intrigue she didn't care about, but the male lead would have been boring without it, she supposes.
Closing the book again, she draws her legs out of his lap, tucking them underneath herself as she settles more comfortably next to him, slotting herself perfectly against his side.
Bedtime is her favorite time because she loves their quiet, uninterrupted time together. It's serene and she looks forward to their simple closeness all day.
"Now, why did you interrupt me? Did I make some societal faux pas that you've been waiting all evening for the privacy to scold me for? It's not my fault I've been out of the royalty business since I was eight. And if I'm not supposed to tell people that I was on the run and in prison we really ought to think of some kind of story." Already she's defending herself against something Cassian never even brought up so maybe she was a little apprehensive about it all.
He leans in to kiss her cheek, an immediate reassurance. She might have stumbled over a few usual etiquettes, but nothing terribly obvious. If her disregard for customs was a dealbreaker, Fest would not like her so much. Much like Cassian, his country seems to appreciate how candid she can be.
"You are fine. Everything has gone well. As you have said yourself, you are likable." Is he teasing again?? Probably. But he doesn't want her to be thinking about any mistakes all night. "I would have interrupted anything unforgivable and you know that."
He loves when she presses against him, how easy it is to hold her there and how neatly they fit like puzzle pieces. He kisses again, on the side of her head this time, because he also loves being able to drop as much affection on her as he wants when they're tucked away alone. "You spent a lot of time with the children. You always do. You like them." It's both a question and not.
She does know he would have interceded on her behalf but the kiss and the verbal assurance comforts her, melting against him.
"I do like them but I feel like you might be pointing out the obvious in this case." He's been watching her with the children of Fest for a year now and Jyn has always been honest that she likes children more than adult. "If you're trying to tell me something, you'll need to be less evasive."
Has he adopted a child without telling her? She thinks she would have noticed if he'd taken a shine to one of the local orphans, especially considering they all spend so much time in the castle taking advantage of the library and the stables and being chased around by Jyn in the snow. Maybe he's trying to tell her that she's pregnant, but again, she thinks she might have noticed that first.
Will he ever get sick of the way she melts against him?? The answer is no.
He huffs out a self-deprecating laugh. So much for being casual and smooth about this, but Jyn always seems to make him stumble over his plans more than anyone else ever has. Maybe he just feels safe enough to allow the cracks.
"Would you ever..." He suddenly feels weirdly nervous about asking, but it's not like there's a right or wrong answer. Whatever she thinks has no bearing on how he feels about her, which is that he wants to be married to her for the rest of his life. "Would you ever want to have your own?"
Forehead wrinkling, Jyn drifts off into thought after the idle repetition, staring thoughtfully at some random spot on the blankets. She doesn't know if she wants children -- her life hasn't left much time or inclination and the fact that the only stability she'd had in over a decade was in prison probably meant she wasn't naturally suited for it. It has settled tremendously now but they're still at war, not matter how far flung Fest is from the Empire's spreading control.
Jyn doesn't know if she has the temperament for it, either. She loves children, to be sure, but she can give them back when she's grown tired of answering questions and she has no real responsibility for them. It was hard enough keeping herself alive this long, much less another person.
Too long, she finally answers. "I don't think I've ever really thought about it, outside of duty."
He doesn't do or say anything while she thinks, content to just wait as long as she needs. Occasionally his thumb brushes against her, but that's such a normal gesture between them now that it he doesn't think anything of it.
Cassian isn't very surprised by her answer. With her life, even if she adored children with every single part of her being, consideration of her own had to be the last thing on her mind.
"I never have either," he says. He's always been grateful for the acceptance of adoption, because he never wanted to have kids with a person who might not want them, who might not want anything to do with the sexual part of a marriage. It was a choice mostly taken from him in some capacity. "I always knew I needed an heir out of duty, and it left little time to consider whether or not I actually wanted to have any myself."
He still has mixed feelings, because he wouldn't want any child to feel like an obligation. Just a choice. But he has to admit, even if only to himself, that part of him likes the idea of a family with Jyn. It's scary, but he thinks he loves her more than he's scared.
Well, that's terrifying. Not that she thinks Cassian would ever push her, she's frankly still surprised that he kissed her first, but because what if they don't want the same thing?
It's not childbirth itself that gives her pause -- she's heard women giving birth, she's heard the screams of pain and the silence of crying mothers, but it's honestly so far from anything she can truly understand that she thinks she's gone through worse. She spent six months in an Imperial prison after all, surely it can't be worse than that.
Jyn breathes out slow and quiet, mouth twisted in thought. "What if I'm bad at it? I could have run away from you if this was rubbish. Can't exactly put a kid back, can we?"
"I was not... thinking that is what I want. I don't know what I want either. It's more like I always tabled the possibility before."
Before her. Before falling in love with her.
He worries maybe he's brought this up too soon. They've only been married for a year, which honestly isn't too early depending on the marriage, but he and Jyn are still learning each other. It seems silly to throw a child into the mix any time soon.
But he loves her stupidly.
"For what it's worth, I do not think you would be bad at it." He swallows, because maybe that was too much. Maybe it sounds more like he's trying to convince her than just broach it. "Not that I -" He sighs and leans in to kiss her temple. "I did not mean it to sound like we had to make a choice now. But - I love you. Maybe it is something we could just... keep in mind. That's all I was thinking."
"We can keep it in mind," Jyn agrees, nodding slowly. "We can also keep talking about it."
Not that Jyn particularly loves talking, about anything serious, but Cassian has always made conversation easy and she doesn't want him to think she is running away from the idea. She doesn't feel pressured, and not just because she knows the option of adopting an heir exists. She knows Cassian wouldn't dream of pressuring her.
"Thank you. For thinking I won't be terrible at it. I know you would be good."
It settles him when she agrees to talk about it, to consider it. It's not a yes or no but he doesn't want that. He's just glad she's not closing off the channel. Whatever they decide, it will be their choice together.
He rolls over to face her and cups her cheek, smiling softly. "I would try. Just like you would. We could be good at it, I think." He leans in to kiss her once, gently. "Thank you, for listening. No matter what happens."
"I suppose," Jyn considers thoughtfully, humming a happy little noise against his lips. She will never get tired of kissing Cassian, kissing her husband. She smiles, too, lifting her hand to cover his. After a moment, she slides his hand down to curl against her neck.
"I suppose we could always practice, no matter what we decide."
He knows immediately what she's angling for when she moves his hand, and his smile turns a little more knowing. He kisses her again, lingering with more intent than just gratitude.
"What, just in case we can't figure out what to do?" He drops his mouth briefly to her jaw, then moves back to her mouth. "Or practice just makes perfect?"
Her smile widens to an outright grin, pressing closer to him like she can convince him by proximity alone. Come to your wife, Cassian.
"Maybe a little of both? I know how much you love to be prepared. We wouldn't want to be caught off guard this time." Her nose crinkles as she darts in for another kiss, flinging her book right out of her lap. It hits the wall and bounces to the floor and Jyn can't help the peal of laughter, that was maybe a little too hard.
Cassian is already convinced. Like, super convinced. He won't just come to his wife, he will come with his wife!
He laughs against her mouth when she throws the book, but it galvanizes him to roll over on top of her with that same delight. "It cannot be that difficult." He slides his leg between hers. "But you're right. We should definitely get in the practice."
And practice they will, clothes slipping away as they press in close and continue to keep learning all the best, exciting ways to move against and with each other, a never ending battle to push the other over the edge first.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
realists) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ohnofeelstho2017-06-16 12:11 am
no subject
But she's trying.
And it was nice to see Cassian's... well, foster parents, she supposes. She loves arguing politics with Bail over breakfast and she even likes Breha mothering her and her hair has been expertly braided every since the Organa queen had come to visit. She does also, admittedly, like that the guest wing is on the opposite side of the castle as to her and Cassian's rooms. She enjoys the guests, but she still likes her privacy.
"I'm likable," Jyn replies immediately, albeit distractedly as she continues to read without looking up or really paying much attention to Cassian at all. "She liked everyone that held her. Especially Bodhi."
no subject
"She liked some more than others. You and Bodhi were probably her favorites." Also not wrong. Whether it was because the two of them actually seemed invested in the baby more than most or otherwise doesn't matter. She liked the baby, fact. Now he just needs to... get more of her attention without making it seem obvious.
"I think she may have been your favorite guest as well." Teasing? A little bit. He knows she hates most people, it's a pretty normal jest to make.
no subject
She sets the book in her lap, keeping the page marked with her thumb, before giving him A Look.
"You're interrupting a very good passage, Captain. It's very engrossing." And he is pulling her out of her engrossed state by chattering about a rogue baby in the castle being more charming than most adults.
no subject
She shoves him, which he takes as a success! It doesn't budge him much, but now she's touching him more, which is like an extra success. His grin slants more when she accuses him of interruption with that look on her face that really shouldn't appeal to him, and yet. "If it was that engrossing, you would have ignored me entirely." He settles his hand over hers on his chest, just because. "Dare I ask?"
no subject
"He brushed his lips against her breasts, her neck, her belly. It took her a moment to realize that he was tracing the path of the freckles on her skin, and trying to kiss every one of them. She would have laughed if her quick, ragged breath had allowed her to.
'I’ve wondered about this for so long.' He smiled before bending his head again, his tongue lapping at all the little coppery spots on her body like a cat eating up spilled cream. He worked his way downward. Marie-Laure had just a few freckles near her belly and thighs, but he paid special attention to each one, his silky hair flowing against her skin in the wake of his lingering, inquisitive kisses.
He moved upward now, his lips traveling to her breast again, his rough cat’s tongue flicking the nipple. She could see his wide, naked shoulders above her; she arched her back to try to touch the length of his trunk, the heaviness of his sex, with her trembling belly. She felt a stab of longing between her legs, just before (but how had he known to do it just exactly then?) he parted her thighs with his hand, opening and exploring her, caressing her with small, patient, delicate strokes."
no subject
Instead, "Trunk?"
Cassian has a lot of books in his libraries. It doesn't mean he's read all of them, especially in basic. "Are you trying to tell me something, Jyn, or should I just be glad to have managed to pull you away from this?"
no subject
Closing the book again, she draws her legs out of his lap, tucking them underneath herself as she settles more comfortably next to him, slotting herself perfectly against his side.
Bedtime is her favorite time because she loves their quiet, uninterrupted time together. It's serene and she looks forward to their simple closeness all day.
"Now, why did you interrupt me? Did I make some societal faux pas that you've been waiting all evening for the privacy to scold me for? It's not my fault I've been out of the royalty business since I was eight. And if I'm not supposed to tell people that I was on the run and in prison we really ought to think of some kind of story." Already she's defending herself against something Cassian never even brought up so maybe she was a little apprehensive about it all.
no subject
"You are fine. Everything has gone well. As you have said yourself, you are likable." Is he teasing again?? Probably. But he doesn't want her to be thinking about any mistakes all night. "I would have interrupted anything unforgivable and you know that."
He loves when she presses against him, how easy it is to hold her there and how neatly they fit like puzzle pieces. He kisses again, on the side of her head this time, because he also loves being able to drop as much affection on her as he wants when they're tucked away alone. "You spent a lot of time with the children. You always do. You like them." It's both a question and not.
no subject
"I do like them but I feel like you might be pointing out the obvious in this case." He's been watching her with the children of Fest for a year now and Jyn has always been honest that she likes children more than adult. "If you're trying to tell me something, you'll need to be less evasive."
Has he adopted a child without telling her? She thinks she would have noticed if he'd taken a shine to one of the local orphans, especially considering they all spend so much time in the castle taking advantage of the library and the stables and being chased around by Jyn in the snow. Maybe he's trying to tell her that she's pregnant, but again, she thinks she might have noticed that first.
Did he kidnap a child?!
no subject
He huffs out a self-deprecating laugh. So much for being casual and smooth about this, but Jyn always seems to make him stumble over his plans more than anyone else ever has. Maybe he just feels safe enough to allow the cracks.
"Would you ever..." He suddenly feels weirdly nervous about asking, but it's not like there's a right or wrong answer. Whatever she thinks has no bearing on how he feels about her, which is that he wants to be married to her for the rest of his life. "Would you ever want to have your own?"
no subject
Forehead wrinkling, Jyn drifts off into thought after the idle repetition, staring thoughtfully at some random spot on the blankets. She doesn't know if she wants children -- her life hasn't left much time or inclination and the fact that the only stability she'd had in over a decade was in prison probably meant she wasn't naturally suited for it. It has settled tremendously now but they're still at war, not matter how far flung Fest is from the Empire's spreading control.
Jyn doesn't know if she has the temperament for it, either. She loves children, to be sure, but she can give them back when she's grown tired of answering questions and she has no real responsibility for them. It was hard enough keeping herself alive this long, much less another person.
Too long, she finally answers. "I don't think I've ever really thought about it, outside of duty."
no subject
Cassian isn't very surprised by her answer. With her life, even if she adored children with every single part of her being, consideration of her own had to be the last thing on her mind.
"I never have either," he says. He's always been grateful for the acceptance of adoption, because he never wanted to have kids with a person who might not want them, who might not want anything to do with the sexual part of a marriage. It was a choice mostly taken from him in some capacity. "I always knew I needed an heir out of duty, and it left little time to consider whether or not I actually wanted to have any myself."
He still has mixed feelings, because he wouldn't want any child to feel like an obligation. Just a choice. But he has to admit, even if only to himself, that part of him likes the idea of a family with Jyn. It's scary, but he thinks he loves her more than he's scared.
no subject
Because of her.
Well, that's terrifying. Not that she thinks Cassian would ever push her, she's frankly still surprised that he kissed her first, but because what if they don't want the same thing?
It's not childbirth itself that gives her pause -- she's heard women giving birth, she's heard the screams of pain and the silence of crying mothers, but it's honestly so far from anything she can truly understand that she thinks she's gone through worse. She spent six months in an Imperial prison after all, surely it can't be worse than that.
What an idiot.
Jyn breathes out slow and quiet, mouth twisted in thought. "What if I'm bad at it? I could have run away from you if this was rubbish. Can't exactly put a kid back, can we?"
no subject
Before her. Before falling in love with her.
He worries maybe he's brought this up too soon. They've only been married for a year, which honestly isn't too early depending on the marriage, but he and Jyn are still learning each other. It seems silly to throw a child into the mix any time soon.
But he loves her stupidly.
"For what it's worth, I do not think you would be bad at it." He swallows, because maybe that was too much. Maybe it sounds more like he's trying to convince her than just broach it. "Not that I -" He sighs and leans in to kiss her temple. "I did not mean it to sound like we had to make a choice now. But - I love you. Maybe it is something we could just... keep in mind. That's all I was thinking."
no subject
Not that Jyn particularly loves talking, about anything serious, but Cassian has always made conversation easy and she doesn't want him to think she is running away from the idea. She doesn't feel pressured, and not just because she knows the option of adopting an heir exists. She knows Cassian wouldn't dream of pressuring her.
"Thank you. For thinking I won't be terrible at it. I know you would be good."
no subject
He rolls over to face her and cups her cheek, smiling softly. "I would try. Just like you would. We could be good at it, I think." He leans in to kiss her once, gently. "Thank you, for listening. No matter what happens."
no subject
"I suppose we could always practice, no matter what we decide."
Bow chicka wow wow.
no subject
"What, just in case we can't figure out what to do?" He drops his mouth briefly to her jaw, then moves back to her mouth. "Or practice just makes perfect?"
no subject
"Maybe a little of both? I know how much you love to be prepared. We wouldn't want to be caught off guard this time." Her nose crinkles as she darts in for another kiss, flinging her book right out of her lap. It hits the wall and bounces to the floor and Jyn can't help the peal of laughter, that was maybe a little too hard.
no subject
He laughs against her mouth when she throws the book, but it galvanizes him to roll over on top of her with that same delight. "It cannot be that difficult." He slides his leg between hers. "But you're right. We should definitely get in the practice."
And practice they will, clothes slipping away as they press in close and continue to keep learning all the best, exciting ways to move against and with each other, a never ending battle to push the other over the edge first.
no subject