She looks so happy and soft and it does strange things to his heart. He wants her to look like that all the time, and he wants to make her that happy. He barely has time to process what that means before she starts heading back up the hill, and far be it from Cassian to fall behind. He scoops up the sled under his arm and follows after her, unable to stop smiling the whole way.
The best part is she doesn't seem to get tired of it. Cassian loses track of how often they glide down the hill, of their countless races back up to the top, and this is probably the youngest he's felt in years. She alternates between sitting in the back and the front and he can't decide which one he like better, mostly because that involves thinking about the different presses of her against him.
On one of the trips down, the sled hits an unexpected bump, jerking into the air. It's not a very big leap, but it's enough to topple the sled over and send the both of them sprawling into the snow.
Cassian is pretty sure there are no injuries, so he lets himself laugh. His arm is still tucked around her waist, and he rolls over a little to get a better look at her face. "I suppose I should have warned you that happens sometimes."
It's so much fun. Jyn wouldn't have taken herself for an adrenaline junkie -- too much of her child and young adulthood were marred with overworking her fight or flight instinct -- but this is exactly the right kind of vaguely reckless. She'd always loved running, racing up the hill makes up for not being able to run outside usually.
(While Jyn doesn't particularly care about appearances and would go running anyway, it's cold on Fest and she is a baby.)
The delighted smile is still on her expression, even dropped unceremoniously in the snow as they were, and it grows briefly at Cassian's laughter. But then he's looking at her and he's so close and she can feel heat touching her cheeks, suddenly grateful they're already flushed pink from the cold and the wind so he doesn't get to see her blushing.
"Does this happen sometimes, too?" This being their current position. She pauses for a breath, seeming to steady something within herself. "If you'd have mentioned this I would have asked you to take me sledding already."
Sledding is probably the one thing from his own childhood that he allowed to stick around for the sake of fun, leisure, even if he hasn't been able to in a while. Since Jyn clearly enjoys it, it makes him think it's something they could do over and over.
Her face is bright and flushed and it takes his breath away. He spends about two seconds thinking he should move, but then she speaks up and doesn't seem to care. I would have asked you to take me sledding already.
Cassian shifts again, dragging himself even closer, half on top of her. Their coats are puffy and huge but he can still feel her and the way his arm seems to fit perfectly around her waist.
"Not usually for me," he says, voice quiet. And then he kisses her. It's slow, careful, tentative, a gentle press of his lips to hers. She didn't seem bothered by how they landed, but this is different. Maybe it's a step too far.
Oh he's closer, she can feel the weight of him against her and it sends a shiver down her spine she knows has nothing to do with the cold. And then he's kissing her and it's so soft and so gentle and she breathes out a happy noise, finding that she'd been waiting for this.
Maybe not in the snow after sledding, but she'd been waiting for Cassian to kiss her and she didn't even realize it until after he'd kissed her and some weight dislodged from her chest.
Her hands lift to clutch her gloved fingers to his arms, but her mittens are so big and his parka is so poofy, she doesn't get the best grip and her nose scrunches up, even with his mouth still on hers.
She doesn't reject him. She kisses him back, even tries to grab onto him but their puffy clothes get in the way. He finds himself smiling against her mouth, then pulls back for a second.
Her face is adorable, and he relates, because he can't get a good enough grip at her waist with his gloves either. Cassian looks down at her and thinks he might be in love, which is far more than he ever dreamed.
Then he kisses her again with the feeling, a little less softly this time. He's more eager, glove flailing uselessly against her coat from puff and snow alike no matter how hard he tries to hold on to her. It's probably the only barrier that stops it from being a more desperate thing. He should have done this sooner filters in while he keeps kissing her, because he already gets the sense he's not going to get tired of it. Her lips are cold but so are his and he can't bring himself to care.
Jyn matches his eagerness with enthusiasm, finally getting a grip on the very edge of his hood where it meets the front of his parka and all but yanking him down closer to her, relishing in the weight of his body against hers and feeling warmth flood through her like a broken damn.
Suddenly the snow doesn't feel so cold anymore.
"Cassian," she murmurs, not giving him a moment to answer because she's back to kissing him again, distracting herself from whatever she was going to say as she slips her warm tongue against his cold lips, seeking the taste of him like it alone can push away the cold.
Her kisses are all the assurance he needs to keep going. She even pulls on him, and he slips a little in the snow, pressing up against her more. He shifts over her as best he can, even if snow is clearly not the best place to finally kiss her, but he wants to be closer.
She says his name though, and he smiles against her mouth. "Jyn," comes out soon after, deepening the kiss as soon as she does and feeling much warmer than he was five minutes ago, opening his mouth under her touch. His hands can't find purchase on her, but he gets a better balance settling them in the snow beside her instead, boxing her in as he chases her taste too.
His mouth is so warm and it shoots through Jyn like a jolt of electricity, making her head spin and she sighs happily, the noise half caught in his mouth. Eventually she manages the restraint to pull back enough to blurt out, all in one breath, "I'd like to go inside."
But then her mouth is on his again so what is the point of having even said anything in the first place. Regardless, her opinion has been made known and Cassian can do with that what he will.
She keeps making all these little tiny happy noises, and he doesn't want it to stop. Jyn doesn't shy away from what she likes and doesn't like, so there's no doubt in his mind about her wanting this.
When she pauses, he instantly does too, and he laughs against her mouth when she immediately kisses him again after telling him she wants inside. He could keep kissing her, but it might be nice to do so without the barrier of giant parkas. Inside.
He gives her one more kiss, long, languid, and deep, before he pulls back. He pushes himself up on his arms and beams down at her, lips a little swollen but smiling like an idiot. "I think I have persuaded you the merits of sledding by now." He looks flushed, happy but nervous too as he licks his lips. He wants to keep kissing her. "Could I convince you to do this part again too, even without the sled crash?"
"I did suggest you keep me warm by the fire when we first met, Captain Andor." He might have to convince her to stop kissing him when it comes down to it. She can already imagine that last kiss waking her up in the morning, sleepy and warm, and she was going to let them both head inside but she stretches up to kiss him with that image in mind and, well.
He might definitely have to convince her to stop kissing him if he ever wants to go back inside.
Who is he to deny her more kisses?? He lowers himself a little bit again, already realizing this is going to be a problem for him, how easily he melts into kissing her. She's going to be able to distract him like it's nothing.
"I don't like to make assumptions." Especially when he was marrying a stranger at the time!! Even though she's anything but now. He really did luck out in this marriage, didn't he?
The thought has him lingering in a kiss and muttering against her mouth. "The fire is waiting for us inside. It could be very warm."
He's already keeping her warm. She feels very, very warm.
But no, they should go inside so Jyn can kiss him without the barrier of so many fluffy layers (and without the barrier of a corset, the scandal) and so they can curl up in front of the fire and she can really feel the press of him against her--
She pushes him away even though she was the one that had tugged him back in in the first place. "No, you're quite right. The fire could be very warm. Help me up."
It's a good thing she finally pushes him away, because he was about two seconds from getting really into kissing her again. He's so doomed.
He sighs with a smile, kissing her one more time before hauling himself off her and to his feet. Cassian holds out his hand and pulls her up, but he doesn't let go of her hand. Soon their gloves won't even be in the way, and neither will their jackets. He'll be able to hold her more securely, right to him, against him - "It might take a while for the fire to heat up the room. We'll have to stay close."
Honestly Jyn preferred Cassian being draped over her in the snow to standing, she doesn't like the way she has to tilt her head up to look at him. She very much liked being on the same level as him.
Still, she likes being this close to him anyway.
"I don't think staying close will be a problem, Captain." Considering they're still holding hands and she's still very close to him already. They're going to be even closer with their puffy outerwear gone... "Let's go back inside."
He wishes they weren't wearing gloves, and he wishes they didn't have a trek back inside. He wishes it were easier to lean down without it being obvious, because he really wants to kiss her again but - inside. That's the whole goal here.
Cassian squeezes her hand as best he can and doesn't let it go even as he ducks over to pick up the sled. "How do you feel about hot cocoa too?"
As much as he wants to kiss her face into infinity, the hot chocolate is a very important part of the post-sledding ritual he also wants to share with her. They can do both! He doesn't wait for her to answer before he starts walking back towards the castle, still holding her hand as best he can because not being close to her feels like the worst ever.
Jyn makes sure to keep up, so their clasped hands are hidden by their puffy jackets, still in the habit of secrecy when it obviously doesn't matter anymore. They're married. She sleeps in his bed more often than not.
Her mouth twists to the side, thoughtful. "I think I feel fine about it?"
Maybe she feels good about it but she'd much rather feel good about kissing him on her rug in front of the fire, getting rid of these heavy jackets and getting warm. "How long will it take?"
He just wants to hold her hand without the gloves in the way. He wants a lot of things out of the way, but the gloves especially right now, because even though she's half hiding it, she's still holding on happily.
Cassian shoots her an amused smile. "I have always liked having a cup after sledding. We can have someone make it if you don't want to wait, but it does not take very long. Only a few minutes."
Part of him wants to forgo it for the sake of getting upstairs, but he also really wants her to have the Full Sledding Experience. It feels like they get back to the castle faster than they left, and Cassian opens the door by the kitchen one handed so he can continue to keep hold on her hand. He drops the sled inside on the floor, snow chunks dropping off from the force of it.
He looks at her, the way her face is still flushed, and has some doubts for his own plan already. He can't tear his eyes away. "Or - we could have some later, if you prefer."
Once they're inside, Jyn tugs her mittens off with her teeth, setting them on the hooks inside the door. They're probably for this exact reason so she doesn't feel bad piling her scarf on over them and then she's already working on the buttons of her coat (she doesn't want to drip melting snow all over the castle) while he is thinking about not having hot chocolate anymore.
She looks up, shimmying her shoulders so the coat slides off. "Later could be better." But she chews on her bottom lip. "Or now is fine?"
It is definitely very hard, because she starts to peel off her outerwear and Cassian is distracted by it. It galvanizes him to do the same, yanking his gloves off before he unbuttons his jacket, the hood flopping off his head. There's snow in his hair, but it'll melt out soon enough. He stomps his feet a little to shake out the snow from his boots too.
"I want to share it with you," he starts, tugging his arms out of his sleeves. He pauses for a second, because he still can't stop staring at her, eyes darting to her mouth when she bites her lip. "But later, I think. There's no harm in later."
There will be plenty of time for the cocoa-after-sledding tradition to make an appearance, more than once. There's only one moment like a first real kiss.
"Later," Jyn agrees, pressing her coat onto the hook and trying not to watch the way he looks at her mouth. Luckily her cheeks are already pink from the cold so there is no change when she blushes, already flushed.
Bold as she was in the moment, now that they're inside, pushing through the routine of undressing from the elements, a shiver of nerves runs down her spine. Not that Cassian will suddenly deny her, not if the way he looks at her is any indication. It's the newness of all this, where it might be headed, that makes her nervous. She's never done any of this before!
Her toes are getting cold in her boots so she peels them off, setting them to dry out under their coats, standing on her tiptoes in stockinged feet so the chill of the stone floor won't set her shivering. As cold as the palace can be, Jyn refuses to wear shoes inside until necessary so she is used to the cold floors, practiced.
"I think it would be best to get out of these wet clothes first anyway."
Later. Yeah, okay, later it is! He can't tell if her face is pink from the cold or from the way he's looking at her, but either way it makes him very aware of the way he's looking at her. He hopes it's not too much.
Cassian toes off his boots to match, hanging his parka on the hook besides hers. It's such a dumb, silly thing, but he likes how they look next to each other. Proof they were out together. The way she sort of hops on her tiptoes to avoid the cold floor is adorable, and he fights the temptation to just scoop her up in his arms.
It's on the tip of his tongue to ask her if she needs help with that, but he gets the sense she's a little nervous. So he takes her hand instead. "Smart. Think we can get upstairs without anyone noticing?"
Jyn is caught staring at their jackets next to each other too and she looks up at him with a happy smile when he takes her hand, feeling warm. Their coats look nice next to each other, they're like a matching set, and for not the first time, Jyn feels a rush of happiness that comes from feeling like she belongs somewhere finally.
"This is your castle isn't it? If anyone can slip through its halls without notice, it would be you." She squeezes his hand, eyes alight with humor. Lead the way, sweet prince, she'll follow him.
He gets a dumb little thrill when she squeezes his hand. He literally kissed her and he's definitely gonna kiss her a whole lot more for the rest of his life, but he feels giddy holding her hand.
"I do know all the best passages, depending on who I'm trying to avoid." Is it officials? Maids? You name it, he's got a pathway of avoidance. Since the point now is everyone, it's a little more winding than most, but it exists.
But he doesn't want anyone to know yet. They're married and have been so for a few months, but there's something novel in keeping this moment private as long as they can. He tugs on her hand and starts to lead her away from the cold and towards the warm of his room.
It's quick and seamless all things considered. She was right. There's one close call about halfway up where he hears a handful of people coming down the hall and yanks her quickly into a crevasse next to a large bookshelf.
It seems silly, but he's smiling at her like an idiot even while he presses up in her space to push them as far back into the corner as they can go. The maids walk by without even a glance, chattering away about Jyn.
Cassian ducks in and kisses her quickly because she's very close, because he can't resist.
There is a problem with Cassian kissing her, even here, especially here. There are no jackets and scarves and gloves in the way, Jyn is already on her tiptoes. When Cassian kisses her, it may aim to be quick but Jyn has no such qualifications and melts into that kiss with the same enthusiasm as she showed in the snow.
It's an assurance, at least, that she still wants him, but also she shows no sign of wanting to stop, even without knowing what room they're even in. It's his fault anyway, for pressing so tight to her.
He hesitates to say kissing her was a mistake, because nothing that great can ever be a mistake, but they are still exposed no matter how bowled over he is by her excitement and the feel of her against him. He squeezes her hips, which doesn't help, but there are far less barriers between them now. Maybe half a mistake.
"Not here," he chastises, and it falls a little flat because he doesn't move from her mouth either, not to mention he kissed her first. He does pause to catch his breath after a few moments, before pulling away to look at her. Come on, Cassian, upstairs isn't much further! "You just distracted me."
They can't go anywhere until he moves back, but oh it's so hard. "I think it's clear now."
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ohnofeelstho2017-06-16 12:11 am
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The best part is she doesn't seem to get tired of it. Cassian loses track of how often they glide down the hill, of their countless races back up to the top, and this is probably the youngest he's felt in years. She alternates between sitting in the back and the front and he can't decide which one he like better, mostly because that involves thinking about the different presses of her against him.
On one of the trips down, the sled hits an unexpected bump, jerking into the air. It's not a very big leap, but it's enough to topple the sled over and send the both of them sprawling into the snow.
Cassian is pretty sure there are no injuries, so he lets himself laugh. His arm is still tucked around her waist, and he rolls over a little to get a better look at her face. "I suppose I should have warned you that happens sometimes."
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(While Jyn doesn't particularly care about appearances and would go running anyway, it's cold on Fest and she is a baby.)
The delighted smile is still on her expression, even dropped unceremoniously in the snow as they were, and it grows briefly at Cassian's laughter. But then he's looking at her and he's so close and she can feel heat touching her cheeks, suddenly grateful they're already flushed pink from the cold and the wind so he doesn't get to see her blushing.
"Does this happen sometimes, too?" This being their current position. She pauses for a breath, seeming to steady something within herself. "If you'd have mentioned this I would have asked you to take me sledding already."
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Her face is bright and flushed and it takes his breath away. He spends about two seconds thinking he should move, but then she speaks up and doesn't seem to care. I would have asked you to take me sledding already.
Cassian shifts again, dragging himself even closer, half on top of her. Their coats are puffy and huge but he can still feel her and the way his arm seems to fit perfectly around her waist.
"Not usually for me," he says, voice quiet. And then he kisses her. It's slow, careful, tentative, a gentle press of his lips to hers. She didn't seem bothered by how they landed, but this is different. Maybe it's a step too far.
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Maybe not in the snow after sledding, but she'd been waiting for Cassian to kiss her and she didn't even realize it until after he'd kissed her and some weight dislodged from her chest.
Her hands lift to clutch her gloved fingers to his arms, but her mittens are so big and his parka is so poofy, she doesn't get the best grip and her nose scrunches up, even with his mouth still on hers.
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Her face is adorable, and he relates, because he can't get a good enough grip at her waist with his gloves either. Cassian looks down at her and thinks he might be in love, which is far more than he ever dreamed.
Then he kisses her again with the feeling, a little less softly this time. He's more eager, glove flailing uselessly against her coat from puff and snow alike no matter how hard he tries to hold on to her. It's probably the only barrier that stops it from being a more desperate thing. He should have done this sooner filters in while he keeps kissing her, because he already gets the sense he's not going to get tired of it. Her lips are cold but so are his and he can't bring himself to care.
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Suddenly the snow doesn't feel so cold anymore.
"Cassian," she murmurs, not giving him a moment to answer because she's back to kissing him again, distracting herself from whatever she was going to say as she slips her warm tongue against his cold lips, seeking the taste of him like it alone can push away the cold.
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She says his name though, and he smiles against her mouth. "Jyn," comes out soon after, deepening the kiss as soon as she does and feeling much warmer than he was five minutes ago, opening his mouth under her touch. His hands can't find purchase on her, but he gets a better balance settling them in the snow beside her instead, boxing her in as he chases her taste too.
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But then her mouth is on his again so what is the point of having even said anything in the first place. Regardless, her opinion has been made known and Cassian can do with that what he will.
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When she pauses, he instantly does too, and he laughs against her mouth when she immediately kisses him again after telling him she wants inside. He could keep kissing her, but it might be nice to do so without the barrier of giant parkas. Inside.
He gives her one more kiss, long, languid, and deep, before he pulls back. He pushes himself up on his arms and beams down at her, lips a little swollen but smiling like an idiot. "I think I have persuaded you the merits of sledding by now." He looks flushed, happy but nervous too as he licks his lips. He wants to keep kissing her. "Could I convince you to do this part again too, even without the sled crash?"
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He might definitely have to convince her to stop kissing him if he ever wants to go back inside.
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"I don't like to make assumptions." Especially when he was marrying a stranger at the time!! Even though she's anything but now. He really did luck out in this marriage, didn't he?
The thought has him lingering in a kiss and muttering against her mouth. "The fire is waiting for us inside. It could be very warm."
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But no, they should go inside so Jyn can kiss him without the barrier of so many fluffy layers (and without the barrier of a corset, the scandal) and so they can curl up in front of the fire and she can really feel the press of him against her--
She pushes him away even though she was the one that had tugged him back in in the first place. "No, you're quite right. The fire could be very warm. Help me up."
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He sighs with a smile, kissing her one more time before hauling himself off her and to his feet. Cassian holds out his hand and pulls her up, but he doesn't let go of her hand. Soon their gloves won't even be in the way, and neither will their jackets. He'll be able to hold her more securely, right to him, against him - "It might take a while for the fire to heat up the room. We'll have to stay close."
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Still, she likes being this close to him anyway.
"I don't think staying close will be a problem, Captain." Considering they're still holding hands and she's still very close to him already. They're going to be even closer with their puffy outerwear gone... "Let's go back inside."
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Cassian squeezes her hand as best he can and doesn't let it go even as he ducks over to pick up the sled. "How do you feel about hot cocoa too?"
As much as he wants to kiss her face into infinity, the hot chocolate is a very important part of the post-sledding ritual he also wants to share with her. They can do both! He doesn't wait for her to answer before he starts walking back towards the castle, still holding her hand as best he can because not being close to her feels like the worst ever.
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Her mouth twists to the side, thoughtful. "I think I feel fine about it?"
Maybe she feels good about it but she'd much rather feel good about kissing him on her rug in front of the fire, getting rid of these heavy jackets and getting warm. "How long will it take?"
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Cassian shoots her an amused smile. "I have always liked having a cup after sledding. We can have someone make it if you don't want to wait, but it does not take very long. Only a few minutes."
Part of him wants to forgo it for the sake of getting upstairs, but he also really wants her to have the Full Sledding Experience. It feels like they get back to the castle faster than they left, and Cassian opens the door by the kitchen one handed so he can continue to keep hold on her hand. He drops the sled inside on the floor, snow chunks dropping off from the force of it.
He looks at her, the way her face is still flushed, and has some doubts for his own plan already. He can't tear his eyes away. "Or - we could have some later, if you prefer."
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She looks up, shimmying her shoulders so the coat slides off. "Later could be better." But she chews on her bottom lip. "Or now is fine?"
This is hard.
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"I want to share it with you," he starts, tugging his arms out of his sleeves. He pauses for a second, because he still can't stop staring at her, eyes darting to her mouth when she bites her lip. "But later, I think. There's no harm in later."
There will be plenty of time for the cocoa-after-sledding tradition to make an appearance, more than once. There's only one moment like a first real kiss.
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Bold as she was in the moment, now that they're inside, pushing through the routine of undressing from the elements, a shiver of nerves runs down her spine. Not that Cassian will suddenly deny her, not if the way he looks at her is any indication. It's the newness of all this, where it might be headed, that makes her nervous. She's never done any of this before!
Her toes are getting cold in her boots so she peels them off, setting them to dry out under their coats, standing on her tiptoes in stockinged feet so the chill of the stone floor won't set her shivering. As cold as the palace can be, Jyn refuses to wear shoes inside until necessary so she is used to the cold floors, practiced.
"I think it would be best to get out of these wet clothes first anyway."
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Cassian toes off his boots to match, hanging his parka on the hook besides hers. It's such a dumb, silly thing, but he likes how they look next to each other. Proof they were out together. The way she sort of hops on her tiptoes to avoid the cold floor is adorable, and he fights the temptation to just scoop her up in his arms.
It's on the tip of his tongue to ask her if she needs help with that, but he gets the sense she's a little nervous. So he takes her hand instead. "Smart. Think we can get upstairs without anyone noticing?"
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"This is your castle isn't it? If anyone can slip through its halls without notice, it would be you." She squeezes his hand, eyes alight with humor. Lead the way, sweet prince, she'll follow him.
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"I do know all the best passages, depending on who I'm trying to avoid." Is it officials? Maids? You name it, he's got a pathway of avoidance. Since the point now is everyone, it's a little more winding than most, but it exists.
But he doesn't want anyone to know yet. They're married and have been so for a few months, but there's something novel in keeping this moment private as long as they can. He tugs on her hand and starts to lead her away from the cold and towards the warm of his room.
It's quick and seamless all things considered. She was right. There's one close call about halfway up where he hears a handful of people coming down the hall and yanks her quickly into a crevasse next to a large bookshelf.
It seems silly, but he's smiling at her like an idiot even while he presses up in her space to push them as far back into the corner as they can go. The maids walk by without even a glance, chattering away about Jyn.
Cassian ducks in and kisses her quickly because she's very close, because he can't resist.
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It's an assurance, at least, that she still wants him, but also she shows no sign of wanting to stop, even without knowing what room they're even in. It's his fault anyway, for pressing so tight to her.
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"Not here," he chastises, and it falls a little flat because he doesn't move from her mouth either, not to mention he kissed her first. He does pause to catch his breath after a few moments, before pulling away to look at her. Come on, Cassian, upstairs isn't much further! "You just distracted me."
They can't go anywhere until he moves back, but oh it's so hard. "I think it's clear now."
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