He does not deserve her sympathy or her kindness, but he eats it up anyway, hoarding her excuses and reasoning. Cassian always knew why he was fighting, it motivated him even in his darkest moments: the galaxy deserved better. It hasn't changed, but now Rey is key to it too. He has to fight, because he has to create a place where she can be safe and happy, free from the Empire. It's a personal stake he hasn't had since he was a child himself.

He is protecting her. He closes his eyes and tries to repeat it over and over. "I know. That's all I want for her. I would do anything for her. But I -"

But there might be too much blood on them. He draws in a sharp breath, squeezing her hands again even as his own shake more. "I can't hold her. I can't touch her, Jyn. How can I? A man is dead and how can I hold her with the same hands that killed him?"