Maybe it's the tears already rolling down her cheeks or the abundance of emotions or maybe it is the cocktail of pain reliever and anesthesia but a pressure builds in Jyn's chest -- which is in and of itself mildly alarming -- and when she opens her mouth to breathe in some deep breathes or maybe scream, what comes out instead is a waterfall of half panicked, hurried words.

"I shouldn't have left. I was scared and I panicked and I know it's stupid because you've always been there for me and you never wavered, but it was so much, it felt like it was too much, everyone wanted to know when we'd get married and then you asked me to move in and I know it was the smart thing to do and I would have, I should have, but I panicked and I ran away like I always do--" She hiccups, breathing erratic and full of the panic she's babbling about. "--but I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have, because you were always the only person I felt like I could rely on and then I threw it away because I was scared and I was stupid and I didn't give you a chance and I'm so sorry, Cassian, I'm so sorry for what I did to us, I ruined it and I hurt you and I never ever want you to think you had anything to do with it, it was me and I was wrong and I was stupid and I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry."

She trails off into more apologies, sorrys turning into sobs because losing an organ really put into relief that losing Cassian had hurt more, and it was a self-inflicted hurt.

All she wants is for Cassian to know that it wasn't his fault.