He lets her pull his hands, watching the movement with an ounce of nerves, like if he gets too close to her everything will be ruined. She's wrong though, because Jyn does sooth him. And maybe that's part of why he avoided her too, the sinking feeling that he didn't deserve to be soothed.

Cassian looks up at her again, and she's right on that front. It's not luck, and he does hate himself; some days it's not so bad, on the days he gets to smile at her or Bodhi, or laugh with Chirrut, or drink with Baze. They remind him that even if surviving is a challenge, there are pieces that help. He never had that before.

It doesn't mean he can't recognize the bitterness in it because he feels it. It's overwhelming right now, especially after hearing it so plainly, like she's completely read him for filth. "The alternative is not lucky either."

It's the strangest pinch of a feeling, not wanting to die but still feeling like you've escaped death too many times. Cassian knows how to survive both the world and things he does, but the cost of it is still killing him slowly.

"It's supposed to be, in this." He squeezes her hands a little. Does he have a heart? It's a good question. "Even when you are the reason why it happens. To do this work, I need to be prepared to cut any losses."