His hands stay uselessly in his lap, still afraid to touch her. She tilts his chin and he allows it with no fight, even if his jaw clenches.
Cassian is fine with hurting himself, but he doesn't want to hurt Jyn. He looks a little ashamed, and the temptation is there to look away, but he doesn't, even if his shoulders curl inward.
"I don't know how to do this with another person," he quietly admits. He doesn't know how to cope successfully in general, but especially in a way that allows him to keep hold on the family he has come to love with a fierceness he was never supposed to have to be a good spy.
The only option has always been shut down when it got too bad. Jyn makes that impossible, but he doesn't know how to pull himself back out of this without locking away his feelings. He's been on terrible missions since Scarif, but none of them have been this bad.
no subject
Cassian is fine with hurting himself, but he doesn't want to hurt Jyn. He looks a little ashamed, and the temptation is there to look away, but he doesn't, even if his shoulders curl inward.
"I don't know how to do this with another person," he quietly admits. He doesn't know how to cope successfully in general, but especially in a way that allows him to keep hold on the family he has come to love with a fierceness he was never supposed to have to be a good spy.
The only option has always been shut down when it got too bad. Jyn makes that impossible, but he doesn't know how to pull himself back out of this without locking away his feelings. He's been on terrible missions since Scarif, but none of them have been this bad.
He wonders, briefly, if he's becoming incapable.