Cassian's first trip to the Capitol was seven years ago for the 58th Hunger Games, and he has come back every year since. It becomes a dull sort of agony, but it's just as exhausting every time. The fanfare, the excitement, the absolute disgust in his eyes that goes unnoticed because of his smile. He was lucky. He was ruthless. He was the first winner for his District in a long while, and no one has followed him since, no matter how hard he tries, no matter how many hideous citizens he flirts with, no matter how many gifts he finagles them into sending. He just keeps watching his tributes die year after year, and then he spends the rest of the time trying to ignore the guilt that crushes his chest knowing he couldn't help bring those kids home. He's not an alcoholic like some of the other Victors, but it's much easier to drink away the rest of the Games when he no longer has to pay attention.
The common area is stocked full of food and drink, and even though he just watched his last tribute die, it would be rude to duck out immediately after, so he piles his plate with candies and fills his glass to the brim. Some Capitol people offer him condolences, but it's more a message of tough luck this year rather than sympathy for a dead child. He downs half of it before he even finds a chair, refilling it before he finally settles in. Some of the other Victors shoot him actual sympathetic looks, but the only other person he mildly gets along with is Kay, currently running amok with his turn to play mentor, so he's not sure he cares much talking to anyone. District Two always has options. He's lucky if he gets a whole day with Kay before they all get shipped back to their Districts.
Happy Hunger Games, he thinks bitterly, swallowing up another huge portion of his drink. He doesn't even know what it is, but at least it doesn't taste terrible. It's a little fruity, which makes him think of home, and then he's back at angry square one all over again.
He's just so fucking tired, all the time, but especially this time of year. He sits down on a couch tucked in the corner, hoping to stay out of sight until enough time passes for him to go finish drinking in his quarters.
i owe you nothing; that's all i've got for you.
The common area is stocked full of food and drink, and even though he just watched his last tribute die, it would be rude to duck out immediately after, so he piles his plate with candies and fills his glass to the brim. Some Capitol people offer him condolences, but it's more a message of tough luck this year rather than sympathy for a dead child. He downs half of it before he even finds a chair, refilling it before he finally settles in. Some of the other Victors shoot him actual sympathetic looks, but the only other person he mildly gets along with is Kay, currently running amok with his turn to play mentor, so he's not sure he cares much talking to anyone. District Two always has options. He's lucky if he gets a whole day with Kay before they all get shipped back to their Districts.
Happy Hunger Games, he thinks bitterly, swallowing up another huge portion of his drink. He doesn't even know what it is, but at least it doesn't taste terrible. It's a little fruity, which makes him think of home, and then he's back at angry square one all over again.
He's just so fucking tired, all the time, but especially this time of year. He sits down on a couch tucked in the corner, hoping to stay out of sight until enough time passes for him to go finish drinking in his quarters.